The Attacking Email

 

Below is the chain of emails that lead up to the attacking email from the household of my second oldest sister. And it includes the attacking one. The email I sent was VERY direct and honest, because it had already proven ineffective for me to tip toe on egg shells around the truths...in my process of standing up for my father and his wishes. My brother's email merely agreed with what I wrote. And the response from my sister's household, was the usual type of dishonest, troublemaking, hateful, mean attack that this sister tends to launch into when her own bad behaviors are exposed. This time it was done through her daughter's email account. This sister has a habit of using other people's email accounts, in order to influence people who would not believe only her, or to cover for herself. She'd rather have me or her own children get blamed for what she does. She appears to have used all three of our email accounts in 2003 and in the past year.
   In the last email here - the one from my sister's household, my older brother had plugged in some comments and sent it back to her. I later thought this was good idea and added my own. His are in red and mine are in green. His and mine are honest. And her true colors come creeping in around the middle of the email. It starts out trying to justify and pain a perfect picture of a loving home for my father...but then she herself shows the truth about the type of person she is and the type of place my father is now isolated in.

 

In the following emails I have changed their names to letters...

G = my older brother
C = my older brother's wife
M = my younger brother

E = my oldest sister
V = my second oldest sister
J = my second oldest sister's daughter

 

[ email from me - Sharon R. Poet Feb 21, 2023 ]

 

Family Letter                                                                                                                

I was forwarded the February 11th email and have a few things to share.

1. Please do include me in future family emails that are only about Dad, but NOT in any of the emails that include the usual negative attacks against me or anyone else.

2.  Dad had always told all of us that he wanted to remain in his own home for the rest of his life - until his "last breath" he said with in the past year even. And we should ALL love and respect him enough to not only see to it that his wishes are honored, but to also NOT be trying to change his mind now that he is in a confused mental state.
   I feel certain that keeping Dad away from the comfort and familiarity of his own home is worsening his mental health and that this should not continue for any longer, especially since it isolates him from his other loved ones. It is a well known fact that old people do not deal well with changes, especially after they start mentally faltering. This is not good for him and should not continue, since it is NOT at all necessary in this situation. Luckily furnaces can be easily and quickly fixed or replaced and help can be brought there to him. He can even afford to hire help if he needs more help than what would be fair to a person living there for free room and board in exchange for helping him. But I think that, at this point, free room and board would easily cover it, especially since he would be functioning better in his own home.  There are people at Dad's church who would probably be glad to help find a kind and caring person who needs a place to live and would gladly go stay there and help him. (I know because I have recently talked to one of them.)
   Out of consideration for Dad, and ALL of his other loved ones, the person who stays there with him should NOT be anyone who is apt to have disputes with ANY of the rest of us so that Dad can have peaceful visits from ALL of his loved ones. Due to the unresolvable discord between most of us, the only good help that can be there for Dad is a neutral person that is not in the family, because Dad needs a peaceful and neutral environment (IN HIS OWN HOME) where ALL (repeat ALL) of his loved ones can feel comfortable going to visit him without any problems arising from it.
If he reaches the point of needing more help than what is fair to a live in care giver, part time help could be hired on top of that.
   E and V, PLEASE do right by Dad and return him to his home and help provide him with the proper and considerate kinds of help that he needs and should have for the sake of his emotional and mental health.

3. We should ALL care about Dad, and his wishes, enough to not feel deprived of possible inheritance through the process of him spending HIS money, in order to stay in his own home and get the types of help he wants and needs for the rest of his life. If he has to spend every penny, and even mortgage his home, in order to take good care of himself, then we should be glad that he has the resources to do this for himself. He is our father and we owe him this level of care and consideration. ITS NOT OUR MONEY - ITS HIS AND HE HAS A RIGHT TO LIVE OUT THE REST OF HIS LIFE THE WAY HE WANTS TO, IN THE COMFORT OF HIS OWN HOME.
   In the sick parts of our societies; too many greedy and selfish and heartless people have stolen money from the elderly and then carelessly shoved them into nursing homes and this is too horribly wrong. AND WE SHOULD ALL BE MAKING SURE THAT THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO DAD.

4. Until Dad is returned to his own home; He should be provided with the old type of land line phone that he is most familiar with, so that he is free to make or receive calls whenever he wants to. This should be done out of consideration for him and his right to free communications with other people. I'm sure he can afford the expense and would be glad to have it. He also should be provided with the accurate phone numbers of ALL of his contacts, including ALL family members. But hopefully he will be returned to his own home sooner than this can be obtained.

5. M and G and C, PLEASE find forgiveness in your hearts for Dad's faults and mistakes and do not blame him for what others have done or his inability to face some things. He loves you and I know that you love him. So, please do this for yourselves as well as for him.
   Everyone else, PLEASE just stay away from those of us whom you can not get along with and be kind to, for Dad's sake as well as everyone else’s. The discord and fights have been too much for Dad and me and others. And they just should NOT continue. (Dad should not be staying with anyone who fights with his other loved ones and/or creates a stressful environment, because this is not at all good for him.)
    I have a recent text from V, which says that I am blocked from communicating with Dad and in it she abusively calls me "evil" and "not good for him." So I do not feel free to call Dad for obvious reasons.
   The truth is that I have been nothing but kind and considerate to Dad and even to my sisters in ALL of my communications with Dad, since we reconnected about a decade ago and beyond that even. So, this was too horribly unjust, as usual. And the attack can't be undone, because it set the usual unresolvable tone. Even if this changes, in order to save face, like what appears to now be happening; I should NOT be forced to be subjected to ANYONE who behaves in ways that are abusive to me, in order for me to be able to talk to my own father. ITS JUST NOT FAIR TO ME AND IT IS ALSO NOT FAIR TO DAD BECAUSE IT CREATES TENSIONS THAT HE CAN SENSE. (I had to have someone else address a card to Dad so that I could tell him that I love him and am praying for him... and I do not even know if he was allowed to get that. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?!)
  This is just one small example why only a neutral person should be living with Dad. And there are many others and not just with V... the discord between both E and V vs. all of Dad's other children, and even between V's children and some of us, is NOT a healthy environment for Dad or for those of us who are the targets of it.
   IF I ACTUALLY COULD GO LIVE WITH DAD, I WOULDN'T BECAUSE I KNOW THAT IT WOULD MAKE V AND E AND OTHERS, FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN THEY WENT TO VISIT HIM AND THIS WOULD NOT BE GOOD FOR HIM OR THEM. AND I AM ASKING YOU, V AND E, TO DIG INTO YOUR HEARTS AND FIND THIS SORT OF CONSIDERATION FOR ME AND G AND M, and to refrain from behaviors that sabotage our relationships with Dad, for the sake of Dad's health and wellbeing. 

PLEASE CARE ABOUT DAD ENOUGH TO RETURN HIM TO THE COMFORT AND FAMILIARITY OF HIS OWN HOME AND HELP GET KIND AND NEUTRAL HELP, FROM OUTSIDE THE FAMILY, TO GO LIVE THERE WITH HIM SO THAT ALL OF HIS CHILDREN CAN FREELY VISIT HIM IN WAYS THAT DO NOT CREATE DISCORD OR TENSION FOR HIM. Please let him be where he has always wanted to be - in his own home for the rest of his life.

I know that he is sort of a loner, but in this time of need, it might surprise some of us...how many kind people do care about him and would want to help him, if only they knew and if only he were still in his home. AND HE SHOULD NOT BE DEPRIVED OF THEM!

Many of us do not trust each other and some of us are VERY concerned (myself included) that Dad is not being well taken care of in Ohio. And... We ALL have a right to feel that Dad is being well taken care of. We also ALL have a right to be able to visit our own father without problems even having the chance to arise. We ALL matter to him. And he needs to be living in a peaceful, tension free environment, in his own home, for the sake his health and wellbeing. So I beg ALL of you to please make a true and positive shift for his sake as well as ALL of ours.

 

 

[ email from my brother, G - Feb 21, 2023 ]

Good letter Sharon and so true. But don’t be surprised if they don’t alter their well thought out plan for dads sake at this point when they have him right where they wanted him all along.

G

 

 

[ Attacking email from my sister's daughter J and/or my sister - Feb 22, 2023. ] 

 

[My brother added comments, directly in this email, in red. I liked what he did, so decided to be a copycat and add some of my own comments in green. I am sharing it this way because people should know the truth. What my brother and I share is the truth. I have also changed the names into capital letters.]

 

[Black = My sister and/or her daughter - J's original email
Red = My older brother - G's comments
Green = Me - Sharon R. Poet's comments

C = G's wife

E = my oldest sister
V = my second oldest sister
M = my younger brother]

 

 

Dear Family,

 

Seeing that I have been brought (not by me) into this disgusting “family” behavior, [ E. included you.] I will voice the things that I have witnessed over the years. I have kept quiet but since I have been blamed of some things (not by me) I will take a moment clear this up. [ Anyone who reads the two emails you are responding to can see that they are NOT "disgusting family behavior," but this email you sent surely is. And you can not justify your attack by pretending its due to us blaming you for something, especially since I do not even know what you are talking about. ]

•         Grampy Cliff is being well cared for. He smiles, is fed nutritious meals, has a warm soft supportive bed to sleep and rest. He has all of his clothing plus the items that he needed were purchased due to him not being able to no longer decipher that his clothing was so tattered. He sees a doctor that specializes in dementia and ageing adults. This doctor is worth his weight in gold [Emotional and mental health in a kind and functional environment is FAR more important than new clothes and new bed...and this letter validates my concern that he does not have this there. And I wouldn't trust any doctor that you three have chosen to support your aims with OUR father.] because he thinks of the patient as a family member. Grampy is around his great grandchildren several times a week. Those who suffer from dementia greatly benefit from being around kids. [ They also greatly benefit from being in the comfort and familiarity and peace of their own home and with as few changes as possible.] My children adore their great grandfather. Grampy lights up when my kids come into the room. They play games, have meals together, take walks, and have important conversations. They are seeing how their great grandfather is being cared for and they know that is how it is supposed to be.  Grampy is a kind person, and he wants for nothing here. [ There are a LOT of other things he also wanted, like his own home and peace and his other loved ones to also be able to be there for him in this final stage of his life, and he is now being deprived of these things. ]

•         Unfortunately, the time has passed for him to be able to safely live in his own home alone. I can assure you steps were taken to allow for him to stay in his own home as long as possible were taken (BS). [ He could have stayed in his own home, LIKE HE WANTED TO, and help could have been brought there to him, like had been suggested many times before. So, I agree with G - that is just not true at all. Nothing can justify what you three did to him. ] However he is unable to do simple tasks to care for himself. He can’t understand things like he used. He doesn’t even know how to put food on his plate from a pot or casserole dish.  He is served every meal; he is offered all the foods he loves and especially his coffee!  He couldn’t even make a simple pot of coffee to enjoy. [ He was completely taking care of himself, on EVERY level, less than 2 months ago - just before you people took him out of his home and isolated him in Ohio. I do not believe he is nearly as bad off as you portray. It looks like you are trying to justify V and E taking him out of his own home and taking over his estate...etc., but it can't be justified, because its too wrong. ]

•         The natural progression in life is that when you are old your kids look out for your safety and wellbeing. We all know this and can agree on this. Correct? (Yes, but causing tension with other siblings to a point where they have to remove them self’s to stop the bullying is damaging to the parents.) [ Dido to G. When they are allowed to - when their relationships have not been intentionally sabotaged by the greed that wants control. ]

•         Two of Grampy’s children have disowned him and the family. Sharon, and G. [ This is not true. I NEVER "disowned" him or even did anything that can be perceived this way. And I feel that in G's heart he never did either. BOTH Dad and G were deeply hurt by the problems that V and her son instigated last May...and also a couple years before that. It has been VERY obvious to me that V and E, and now you as well, want G and I out of the family and out of our father's life. ]

Sharon you left the family [ This is not true. I never "left" the family. But I did take a bit of time to myself, which got extended due to you and my sisters harassing me...etc.  And after I came back I was forced to stay away from it through fabricated emails and severe levels of mental/emotional abuses inflicted upon both Dad and I in order to sabotage our realtionship. Then I was threatened by V to not return. Its amazing how you three (J, V and E) can lie and sabotage and slander and then blame teh victim for "leaving." How do you justify this sick scenario to yourselves? ] when I was 12 years old. You broke my heart.  “God removes those from your life because he saw and heard things you did not. So he took those people out of your live.” [ Whoever wrote that did not know the God who is Love and Light - the one who gave us all free will and works through our own hearts when they are open. ] Is a quote I refer to when I think of you. You taught me to protect my heart against toxic people.  [  The "Toxic" description is what a psychologist said about V's behaviors and since then she has projected it onto me.] Over the years I have watched how you have conducted yourself with my family. [ You have not "watched" any such thing. One funeral is the only family gathering we both attended, since 1990, and our paths there did not cross much. And V hasn't either, because I have not even been in the family, except for that one funeral and one Xmas after it in 2002. Interesting how your wrote "my family," instead of OUR family. Do you think you own it?]  Arguments, tears, and heart ache were always happening when you were involved. [This is not true. ] Your manipulation of my family is impressive. [This is yet another projection, but this time of both E and V's manipulative behaviors. I am a direct and honest type of person - the opposite of both of my sisters and everyone who knows me knows this. Who are you trying to fool here? ] It is because of YOU, Sharon that I have no problem cutting people out of my life with absolutely NO regret.  [ I am not responsible for your problems, especially since I have not even been there through most of your life. And I think you cut people out with "NO regret", because you didn't have much of a heart as a child and obviously still don't...and military training also tends to have that effect. I hope you find your heart.  ] You say we should all love and respect your father. How can you say this when you haven’t loved and respected your father EVER! REALLY? (how do you know this? This is exactly the type of statement that proves that you are spewing delusional BS instead of facts) [ That's just a ridiculous fabrication and everyone who knows me knows it. You clearly don't know me, so why pretend to? Just to make me look bad to other people, obviously. You must have learned that bad habit from your mother. She is also good at fabricating things just to make me look bad. The difference between you/V and I is that you have to fabricate things, in order to make me look bad...and all I have to do is tell the truth for you to look bad, and I have not told most of it, because this is not my aim. ]  ! What you did to your own father is horrible. [ The ONE horrible thing I did really do is wrongly assume something and this was actually partly due to something your mother V told me. And I know you are just cruelly trying to stab an old wound here. But...both Dad and I found forgiveness about a decade ago. Why can't you?  It takes genuine heart to forgive instead of abusively stabbing old wounds just to hurt people. I hope you find yours. ] It shows me how you truly feel about yourself. [ You do not know anything about how I feel about myself. ] You are a sick individual, and you should be in an insane asylum.  [ I know this is not true and is just to scare me... since 2003-2004 when your mother - V threatened to have the family imprison me in an institution if I returned to the family. But it sure is what V and E have wanted people to think. "Insanity" is the slander that has been happening in the family since 2003. I am surprised you carry it on, because I thought you were all flitting around trying to cover that one up and pretend it never happened. I guess old abusive habits die hard.]

[G] you are the second member to leave the family. [ The TRUTH is that he was both the first and the second. But it was instigated by your mother V, BOTH of those times. She sabotaged his relationship with our father. And this is another one of those scenarios of the abuser blaming the victim. Yes, G got angry and slammed a door, but who drove him to it and who in this email (as well as one other one) is trying to make sure his door stays closed? J, you are now as much to blame for this as V and your brother is.]  You said “you’re sick of our lies about your wife and how we treat her! I want nothing to do with you all!”  You are the oldest male sibling, and this is how you act? (YES. As a real man I find it my duty to defend my wife from hurtful, vicious attacks from anybody. Don’t you find it shameful that I have to protect her from my family??) [ Do you really find G being sick of the lies a horrible thing?  Who would not be sick of the lies and want to get away from them and their effects on people who are manipulated by them? I am sick of them too and I do not want to be hurt by them anymore either. The abuse and the EXTREMELY unhealthy levels of control that E and V have over Dad, forces the victims of the abuse into turning away and heading toward a kind and safe and peaceful environment. The ones who are wrong are the abusers and liars - the ones who treat the spouses of their relatives like trash and think that its acceptable, like you are doing to G in this email, just to upset and hurt him! ]  You fail to see the truth how your wife sleeps around town (you know this for a fact? If you cannot prove this for a fact than you are being a disgusting gossip. Do you have no shame doing such a vicious attack on someone you hardly even know with nothing to back it up but BS??), [This is a trouble making and intentionally hurtful type of statement. I doubt you see the "truth" J, because you are so out of touch with it. The TRUTH is that this is a prime example of a vicious attack aiming to destroy the relationship of one of V and E's targets. The same sort of thing was done to my relationship with my husband. They seem to have taught you well - how to hurt a person through sabotaging their relationships. ] licks your nephew on the neck when she hugged him (I’m not sure what to say about this other than there must be some explanation but your perverted mind has embellished this to fit you narrative). Also I won’t forget how EVERY SINGLE TIME myself, my husband and kids came to NH to visit your wife would cause so many problems and make things so difficult that is was a blessing for you to leave the family. (Your mother caused the issues EVERY TIME because if her selfish behavior, she was always getting pissed off if when we couldn’t accommodate everything her way. She even attacked us because we could not go to Joe’s funerial like it was a personal attack on her. Is that demented or what? It is always the same ATTACK,  ATTACK!!! Kind of the same thing YOU are doing here) [ If your proclomation of C causing problems is like the ones you fabricate about me, C must have also been the opposite of what you say. And all this that you say about C is VERY obviously YOU trying to cause problems for G. Your true colors are showing themselves. And you expect people to trust that you are providing a healthy environment for OUR father? You would have to be a far more functional and kind person to even begin to accomplish that.]  Your wife wrote my mother an email saying that my Mom was jealous. My mother has NOTHING to be jealous about when it comes to your slut of a wife. (you have personal proof of this??? Why don’t you give me the name of ANY person C slept with since knowing me!! If you have no proof or no name than you are proving to me that you are a delusional mean spirited person. And this is exactly the kind of attacks your mother has been doing for years. You obviously think this is normal excepted behavior but I do not.) [ Sounds to me like you are jealous too, J. BOTH V and E are the most hatefully jealous people I have ever known or heard of and this is the absolute truth. And I witnessed V's jealousy of C when she looked at me and snidely said, "She's like you" at a funeral in the fall of 2002. I cringed for C, because I KNEW (first hand), what she was in for. ]  Look how your wife treats you (how do you know how she treats me???). She makes you look ridiculous around town (have you ever been to Hillsboro? You have spent enough time here to know how the town feels about [my wife - C]?? Again you are spreading BS just like the rest of your family with no firsthand knowledge. Anybody can spread rumors but only an idiot takes them as gospel.) How many of your workers has she slept with?(NONE prove me wrong) I won’t even mention how she treated Josh.(I thought you already did??) She is another toxic women like your sister Sharon.(Fact? Opinion? Based on what data?)  [ Here's that "toxic" projection of V's behaviors again. ]  You turned your back on your father when you left the family. (Yes and he knows why) You, [G] chose to leave the family. (No self-respecting person would choose to continue to subject themself to the constant barrage of crap that this very letter is a prime example of)  [ The TRUTH is that V and E and now you as well, WANTED G and I out of our father's life and made sure it happened and are now with this email, trying to make sure it stays this way. Its really this type of hateful troublemaking crap that G walked away from, not "the family." G's relationship with his father was sabotaged by V and E's greed and hate and jealousy and he chose to not be hurt by that and the fact that our father was not able to face it or stand up against it.. And the same was done to me and is still being done now through this email and V's text messages and V's continuing to even use our father to attack me, after she has convinced him of things about me that are not true. ]  I have no respect for a “man” that leaves his father when he needs his sons the most.(Blame you mother and brother for making the environment around your grandfather to toxic for us to deal with.) [ Thats a LOW BLOW coming from the household that instigated the separation. If you feel this way you also should have no respect for people who intentionally sabotaged that man's relationship with his father, and the type of person who then sends attacking emails like this one, in order to upset him and keep him away from his father during his deepest time of need. Perhaps someday you will alter your manipulative and abusive behaviors so that you can gain some respect for yourself. ]

[G] and Sharon, for you both to be so concerned about how your father is doing now, is pointless. (I am not concerned I left the family remember. I just agreed with Sharon’s letter)  [ Because his wishes to remain in his own home were disrespected and he is now isolated from other loved ones, in a place where people behave like you do in this email, there is just cause for concern. ] YOU BOTH have shown him over the last 35 years how much you love him  (I spent all my life up to 4 years ago loving and supporting him, once again no facts just ATTACK) . [  Yup. We have shown him how much we love him. And if he had not been brainwashed into believing V and E's fabrications, and had not been blind to the abusive manipulations (like what is in this email) he'd still know how much we love him. Shame on those who have tried to convince him that we do not love him, because we truly do. ] The amount of heart ache he has had endure from you both is alarming (DITTO, I spent 60 years supporting him, responding to his every call for help and keeping tabs on him. Having to leave because of toxic attacks like this letter have cause me  to choose between my love for him or my own self perseveration. Are you to stupid to realize the pain your family put me through? And you are continuing the same here except I had to drive you all out of my heart so you can’t hurt me anymore.) [ This is another projection. I have never intentionally hurt my father, but I know that my sisters have intentionally and cruelly broken his heart on numerous occasions. Two of those occasions were when they cruelly sabotaged his relationships with his oldest son and youngest daughter...for their own hateful and greedy aims...a process that has continued to this day. NOBODY has caused him more heart ache than those of you who sabotage his relationships and isolate him from his most caring loved ones and fabricate things that hurt him mentally and emotionally. Do you have a mirror?]  Interesting fact about dementia, “Those who have Dementia and Alzheimer’s say what ever is on there mind.” I can assure you what Grampy has said to me over the past couple of months since he has been here in Ohio shows me how much you both have HURT him. (I guess he is fine with the hurt he put on us though, He brought this all on himself by buying into the BS your family has been spreading for years. I think it is so ironic you blame us for the situation you all caused. That is a right out of the democrat play book, accuse others of what you yourself are guilty of.) [ Did you adopt your mother's habit of betraying our father's confidences, just to make us feel betrayed by him and interfere in our relationship with him? I am sure that if he truly said anything bad about us, you would have said what it was. I think this is a total lie that is just yet another aim to make G and I think that our father is against us or is betraying us. Same old crap. He probably told you the opposite and this is why you are attacking G and I... and are still trying to keep us out of his life.
  AND... Any issues between us and our father are things that our father would want to resolve and make better in this final stage of his life, if only he were free too and were with the type of people who could care about him enough to support this process instead of intentionally preventing it. Did you inherit the hateful jealousy that E and V have...or is it just greed that is ruling in ALL of you at this point?
   Truth is that G and I are the ones whom my father had always known he could trust the most - to be executors of his will and also to do right by him in his old age...and this is actually why it is G and I whom he has been being manipulated against more severely, and who have been being cut out of his life, by our sisters (and now you too), since he started getting more money than the norm. I know this to be fact due to the content of one of the fabricated emails in 2003. ] It’s disgusting how you two conducted yourselves over the years. You have this in SIMPLE black and white typing: YOUR (my father would not have disrespected me and C like you all have) [ You have not even been in my life since you were a child, so you do not even know how I conduct myself..and the same goes for V and E. Do you have a mirror? ] father is receiving THE BEST CARE HUMANLY POSSIBLE. THIS. IS. FACT. [ Do you really think that typing out the words can create the belief of genuine care in a person who behaves the way you do in this email and the way your mother behaves and the way your Aunt E behaves? The "best care" would not do a LOT of the things you do, in fact, it would behave in the complete opposite way. You have validated my concerns in this email. A severely dysfunctional home, that attacks his other relationships and isolates him from good help from caring people in his community and church and the rest of his family, is NOT a good place for him to be. ]  

 

I have witnessed some of the most disgusting behaviors from people that are supposed to be FAMILY (Wow an BIG DITTO here). [ Me too, and you demonstraight many of them in this email. ]  Grampy is EXACTLY where he needs to be. [ He is where you, V and E want him to be and manipulated him into agreeing with. ]   My mother has said that everyone is welcome to come out to Ohio, call or write whenever you like (As long as it is in step with your grand plan right?). [ I have a text from V saying that I can't have any contact with him. As usual, what she says in public, and what she says behind the scenes to me, is different, which was supposed to make me out to be an "insane" "liar," but this time I have physical proof, because we have had no verbal conversations. And I can't help but feel that YOU sending this "mean," "lieing," troublemaking, "hateful" email is a sick manipulation to upset us and keep us away from our father. YOU have ALL made it VERY clear that we are not "welcome."]   Interesting how fucking concerned you are now that he is no longer in NH (here you go again how do you know this? I never said that!!). [ I understand how disappointing it is for V and E to realize that you had not completely succeeded with getting rid of G and I, like you thought you had, before you took our father away from his beloved home and isolated him in Ohio. And I am the one who is obviously concerned. But I feel that in G's heart he is too. He just has his walls up because he does not want to be hurt anymore. Our father was manipulated, by V and E, into believing and supporting these sorts of lies and abuses against me and G and C...and this has been VERY hurtful to us. But I still deeply care about our father and what happens to him. I do not expect you to understand this kind of unconditional care, though. It is VERY obvious that you have had no experience with it. ]  You want to see him or talk to him? THEN DO IT!  You haven’t done it RESPECTFULLUY in years ( You are consistent with the BS. Your time line is extremely exaggerated, again how do you know anything about any communication I had with him? I don’t remember you being present at any of them.) [ Peaceful and free communication between Dad and me or Dad and G is still being sabotaged, even in this email. You have not been present during ANY of our talks. And I know that my talks with my father have been respectful, with the POSSIBLE exception of only two that happened decades ago and there was good reason for those...and you did not witness them and I know he did not tell you about them. ]  and if you did you did NOTHING but YELL AND BE A BULLY to Grampy. [ Another total fabrication. This "Bully" thing is a projection of E's behaviors. Absolutely noone of the rest of us have ever been a bully type of person to Dad except for E, that I know of. The truth is that I am the complete opposite of a "bully," type pf person...to the point of being a bit dysfunctional even. But maybe this "bully" thing is also a projection of your own behaviors J, because I remember you being an abusive bully to one of my daughter's when you were a child - threatening harm even, if she did not do what you wanted. Did you remain that way? ] (The amount of screaming and yelling he has endured from you both is a manner that my kids now 8 and 12 know NOT to do. [ This is a ridiculous fabrication as well. Some of these are so outrageous I can not help but laugh. I am the complete opposite of what you portray in this email and everyone who knows me knows this. Not you or anyone in the family has EVER heard me raise my voice to my father or even have an argument with him, EVER. I actually only raised my voice to him once, in all of my 64 years, and you were not there at that time and you were not even told about it until right now. Who are you trying to convince of some of ridiculous crap? only M's children would not know me well enough to know the truth. Or is upsetting us enough to keep us away your only aim here this time? ] That is sad when young kids know more about how to treat people with kindness than my ADULT “family” members (I hope your kids never are subjected to the kind of abuse you show in this letter). [ After reading this email I can CLEARLY see that they did not get that "kindness" from you. Judging by this email you have a LOT to learn about "respect" and "kindness" and honesty and heart. It is sad that this is my first full communication with you, since around 1990. You are making quite and impression. LIke mother, like daughter I guess. Better that I know now, so I can protect myself from you in the future too. You just trashed any trust I could have gained in you. ]

[E], my Mother and Father, Josh and my self are giving Grampy the care and love that he deserves.[ I wish I could feel that to be the truth. When it comes to love/heart; people can only give what they have and this is the most important part of caring for a person. How little heart you have shows in this email. I know that V and E are VERY similar and judging by the emails Josh sent last May, he also has the same level of functionality and disrespect and lack of care and consideration for the feelings of others. So, no our father is definitely not getting the care and love he deserves. He deserves to be with GENUINELY kind and loving people who can respect his relationships with his other children and who would not be trying to turn him against his other children. I have proof that V is still doing this now, even though he is so elderly and ill. I'm sorry but, I do not believe that any of you are capable of the kind of love and care he deserves. ALL of your behaviors validate my concern for him. ]

 

If anything, that I have said in this email pissed you off then that is a clear sign to yourself that you need to conduct yourself in a more civilized respectful manner (You find this letter you wrote “CIVILIZED AND RESPECTFUL?) [This is really twisted. It basically says that if I have natural feelings, about you fabricating things about me and degrading and abusing me and projecting V and E's abusive behaviors onto me... it is me not being "civilized" or "respectful." Are you on drugs? Do you really not see that the reason why people get upset, when you behave this way is because YOU are being dishonest and mean and hurtful, and NOT because we are doing something wrong? ] By the way, in case you didn’t know that was a wordy way saying, FUCK OFF! (How very dignified, you sound like a very level headed adult.) [ NO, I didn't know, because I can't see that at all, not even after you so crudely explained it. I must be "insane"! It sounded more to me like you were hoping to hurt/upset/anger us and then make our feelings wrong. It really was not an "F off" at all. And I do not want to be subjected to this sort of foul mouthed language. Where is your respect for your elders and yourself? ]

 

This is your final warning [G] and Sharon you both cannot contact my mother ( I have not contacted your mother, I merely told Sharon I agreed with her prognosis. Your mother then sent ME a nasty gram much like you just did. See this is how twisted you and your mother are. Did I contact you? NO! YOU decided to send this to harass me just like your mother did yesterday. You two are the ATTACKERS here not me.)  If you do I will press charges. [ Did you forget that you have been pretending that its OK for us to talk to and visit our father who is out there with you and your mother?  We have been REPEATEDLY told that he is living at V's home and that "V will answer the phone" when we call. So this is just banning us again. And there is ABSOLUTELY nothing you can press charges for, because we have not done anything wrong. However we know how you J/V can fabricate things and so maybe there is something that you could drum up, in an effort to use a police department, in order to hurt us if we try to contact or see our father. OR... is standing up with the TRUTH now illegal in your part of the world? ] I will not allow people to disrespect my Parents or Grandfather any longer. (Should I press charges against you and your mother for these two unsolicited DISTRESPECTFUL attacks on me?) [ I do not follow orders from controlling people like you or anyone else. They are all adult enough to speak for themselves, although our father is not free to in your household or while my sisters are manipulating him.
   And respect is one of those things people have to earn. I have absolutely no respect for V and E, due to their behaviors and the same now goes for you, J. And I am not the one who has been  "disrespecting" my father...not even his wish to remain in his own home for the rest of his life and his wish to be allowed to have good relationships with ALL of his children in this final stage of his life. But I know who has and you are obviously now one of them too. Its amazing how you project your own negative behaviors just as much as your mother does and in the same ways even. I was at first convinced that V actually wrote this. But maybe all three of you did. Do any of you have a mirror? Your projections of your own negative and abusive behaviors are really getting too ridiculous. I am concerned for your heath too. How do you live with yourselves... or navigate your own lives while being so out of touch with reality and truth and yourselves? ]

 

Have the day you fucking deserve. (Thank You. I have a very comfortable life which I earned with my intelligence, and hard work. I am self-made as I did not need to embezzle money from, ask for advances on an inherence, or take any money from your grandfather for the hundreds of hours I spent helping him in the past.) God will judge us all at the pearly gates and I am not worried as I am proud of who I am.) [ I deserve freedom from your fabrications and projections and abuses. I have enough problems of my own.... without yours and V's and E's being projected upon me, just because you can't face yourselves or take responsibility for your own behaviors. Today I did not have that due to this email. I think you are not fooling anyone but yourselves, at this point. Thank you for reminding me of why I must stay away from my own family, in order to retain my sanity and have peace in my life. I really do not want to EVER have to go through this kind of crap again. I hope you find your heart.]

 

Your niece, J [Only in blood. Are the dishonest and hateful and mean behaviors, that you display in this email, your usual way of communicating or are they just reserved for your Uncle G and Aunt S...in your efforts to keep us upset and far away from our father? What was it you said about people who treat family members in a "disgusting" way? In ALL the family emails I sent or received, the only ones that fit your "disgusting" description are the ones that came from your neck of the woods - from you, your mother and your brother. But, now I know what you grew into and that I have not missed out on anything that I can relate to or want to be closer to. I hope you find your heart. ]

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

After this email from J - from my sister's household...my sister convinced my elderly and ill father that I was the one who was being "mean" and "hateful" and that I am the one who was "lieing" (even though this is not true)...and then she even used him to call me up and lace into me for it. And this is an example of the type of abuse I have been being inflicted with in my family. The projections of her own behaviors onto me have been a regular pattern of my sister's since at least the 1990s.
   There is more in my recent blog posts. But they focus primarily on my father and the current situation. As for the rest of my personal experiences with this form of abuse...I have a lot more to share at another place and time.

 

P.S. Hopefully nothing has been changed in these emails. If it was, it was due to infiltration and not me. I only changed the names to letters.