Infiltration?

I am concerned that there may be another infiltration going on, due to some computer problems I am having. Hopefully none of my writings have been being altered again. In the past I have noticed that the just chainging one word can alter the meaning of a whole story or paragragh. It just should not be happening at all!

Dear Dad,

I wonder if my father will really be returning to his home, and if I will ever be able to privately talk to him again without me being put onto my sister's chopping block, either with her being involved in the conversation or him blasting me with things she has convinced him of. I literally can not stand the thought of even having that sort of conversation with him and so have not even tried. After the degrading messages my sister had him leave on my phone, the attacks through her daughter's email and the angry letter my father sent me... I have now been shoved to the point where I would probably have a melt down and negatively blast him, like I never have before, if he even tried, just one more time, to lace into me about negative things that my sisters have fabricated against me. So, it is best that I do not even try to talk to him, even if I could do so without being attacked by my sister. But, as much as I do not want the fight wit my father, I also do not want the pain filled wall of silence between us. I want peace and resolution. So, I decided to write him a letter.
   However, I seriously doubt that my sister will allow my father to receive it, and if she did it would probably be only after she opened it and altered it so that he gets hurt by another one of her fabrications and then laces into me again. This just absolutely can not happen again, for both our sakes... So I have decided to share the letter here and hope that he gets it the way I wrote it. Perhaps it can also help other victims of this sort of thing. I know there are many out there...


Dear Dad,

   I love you so much that I have been standing up for you, even though it has put me in a line of fire that has not been good for me. And I am sorry that you do not realize or understand this. As for the things you recently blasted me with; I am too overwhelmed to look back over the things I wrote to my sisters right now, but I know that even in my most angry moments of standing up for you and myself, I was not "lieing" and I was not being "hateful and mean" to my sisters. In fact, the true problem was that I stepped back into the family, and was too blatantly honest and direct.
   Dad, the disputes between my sisters and I are something that I would not subject you to or involve you in, because I know you also do not like the discord, especially right now when you are going through a tough time. So I'm not going to get into it with you, even though my sisters did again involve you and upset you with it. However, since they did involve you, and since you took their side against me, what has been happening between you and I needs to be addressed...

I feel deeply hurt since you have been again lacing into me about negative things that my sisters (and/or other family members) have said or done against me. For me, this last round of it has been like a knife being stabbed into MANY old wounds and its just too hurtful to me.

I understand that, since what happened in 2003, you no longer realize the type of person I am and no longer trust me. I also understand that there is nothing I can do about it, because (since then) you have not trusted me enough to believe my honest defense. God knows I have tried explaining uncountable times, with no positive ground gained, and so I have had to accept that its futile to even try anymore. So... At this point I am just begging you to please refrain from lacing into me about negative things, that other people say or do against me. I hear you when you say that you love me, but I do not feel loved by you when you treat me this way....

I WISH YOU CARED ABOUT ME ENOUGH TO BE CONSIDERATE OF MY FEELINGS - ENOUGH TO EITHER REMAIN NEUTRAL OR BE OBJECTIVE AND ASK ME ABOUT MY SIDE OF THINGS WHEN OTHER PEOPLE SAY OR SHOW YOU NEGATIVE THINGS AGAINST ME, INSTEAD OF JUST BELIEVING THEM AND BLASTING ME. I have been too SEVERELY hurt by this scenario, through the past two decades, and I should not be hurt by it anymore, especially not now when the complete opposite is what should be happening, for BOTH our sakes.

I guess that, in order for things to get a bit better between us again, you are going to have to again forgive me for what they have convinced you of, even though I have not done it...and you are also now going to have to refrain from lacing into me about things that other people have told you or shown you against me, because I just can't take anymore of it. It seems foolish for me to be asking you to forgive me for what I have not done, but this is what I am AGAIN doing, because I do not want the continued discord between us. Please forgive me again.

 
I know that we can no longer be as close as we were way back when you knew you could trust me and back when you knew that I was a kind and caring and sane person, but you again taking on and swinging their hatchet at me is just too hurtful to me, Dad. I still carry a massive amount of pain from when you did this to me in 2003 and I can't handle more being added to it. Through that time I cried more for you than I did for me... and now its time for me to matter too. Please bury their hatchet and do not take on anymore of them or at least refrain from swinging them at me. 

Please care about me enough to refrain from openly blaming me and lacing into me for what other people say and do against me. And please also at least try to start judging me only by YOUR OWN direct experiences with me and not by what other people say or show you. I deserve your objectivity and your consideration. I really do.

With love and hope for our future
Your daughter, Sharon

P.S. Please let me know if you get this and if you are willing to do this and make things better between us. I just also found out that you refusing to write to me since May of 2022 was not due to an inability to, but was because you did not want to communicate with me after the hell that was raised against Gerry and I around that time. I am so sorry that you feel the way you do about me since May, and that you did not even try to talk to me about it. I wish I could stop feeling so hurt by this, but I can't right now. Its all like the 2003 nightmare coming back to life for me. Repeatedly losing you through the hateful drives against me in the family has been far more painful for me than if I lost you through your death. This just has to stop, one way or the other. I do not want to be forced/hurt into completely walking away again, but if this is what you want, I will. You may want to read the rest of this later only if you are interested in dropping the hatchet and making things better between us.

For a long time now I have wanting tell you that, in the deeper past...; my emotional pain was never due to me being "oversensitive" - it was due to other people's hurtful behaviors toward me. And me always silently walking away feeling hurt was never just me being "a martyr" - it was me having natural human feelings and me turning the other cheek instead of fighting back or seeking revenge...and later it was also me protecting myself from being hurt even more than I already was. In many ways, Dad, you have always blamed me for the hurtful things that my jealous sisters have done to me and this has not been fair to me. I remember you often brushing it aside, saying, "they are just jealous," as if it was nothing that mattered. But it always mattered to me, Dad, and it still does, because it hurts me, especially since you seem to have forgotten how they are and started believing them and lashing out at me due to things they have said or done against me.
   I beg you to search your heart and find more consideration for me, because I deserve it...and because it would be best for both of us to resolve things between us before its too late to in this lifetime. I think too much damage was done, for too long, for a complete resolution, but surely we can BOTH at least refrain from fighting and hurting each other even more!?!? I know I easily have and can, but can you? And do you even want to? Please let me know, either way.
   I love you and can forgive you, but I do not want to be unfairly blamed anymore and I do not want to be hurt by your unjust negative opinions of me anymore... and so I hope you can make a positive shift for BOTH our sakes, even if that shift can only be you refraining from blasting me with the negative things my sisters still say or do against me. I feel so strongly about this, Dad. If I called you and you started lacing into me about things my sisters have said against me again, I would probably also negatively lace into you, like I never have before, because you have all pushed me to the point where I feel like I just can not take anymore. I don't want the fight and I don't want the pain filled silence. So I hope you can refrain from treating me this way for the rest of our lives and give me some reassurance that you will do this for me and our relationship.
   There ARE actually many things that I TRULY have done wrong in my life and one big thing that I truly did wrong to you. And I am totally OK with you confronting me about the things that I TRULY have done wrong to you... but just please do it with kindness and consideration for me, especially right now since (as you know) I am still homeless and am struggling with many other problems. I am actually in a state of overwhelm... and my feelings and my wellbeing matter too. Please be more considerate of me and my feelings.
   As for the things, that other people say I have done wrong to them; its really is none of your business and you should not even be getting involved in it, especially when you can not objectively listen to BOTH sides before passing judgment... or just remain in a neutral place. You and I should only be addressing the problems between you and I and NOT the problems between any of my siblings and I. You can take their side if you want, but I do not want to hear about it when you do, because I should not have to keep defending myself against their hateful fabrications and I should not have to keep feeling the pain of my father joining or being used in their attacks against me. Why do you not just take a neutral stand and tell them to leave you out of their fight against me, like most people would do? I matter too!

Remember way back when you used to appreciate my "wisdom," Dad? Well, here is a bit of it for you, if you want it... If I were 90 years old I'd be aiming to improve my relationships with my estranged children so that they were not left with unresolved pains and so that I could cross over in peace when this final stage of my time here on earth was over. And so, because I love you and your sons and I, I wish for you to also do this. I wish so much that you would stop being so negatively influenced and let your heart reach out to your sons and me, for your own sake as well as ours. This whole situation will remain VERY painful for ALL four of us, if you do not step out of your two oldest daughter's life-long fight against the rest of us, and open your heart to us through this final stage of your life. And it appears that the only way you can even have the chance to do this is if you return to your own home and have kind and compassionate and NEUTRAL help, from outside the family, there with you... so that ALL of your children can freely and peacefully visit you without any sort of problems arising.
   Perhaps there is another way? I don't know.

How its done is up to you, but IF you want peace and resolution, with ALL of your children, you are going to have to realize that the severe and LONG standing problems between your two oldest daughters and the rest of your children are unfortunately not going to be soon resolvable, if ever, especially after the events of 2003 and the past five years. And due to this, you should be living in a neutral zone, with neutral help from outside the family there for you, because you not living with any of us, or any of our children, will enable a situation where ALL of your children will feel comfortable visiting you - where ALL of your children can visit you without any tension or discord or fighting even having the chance of happening. This is truly needed for your sake as well as mine and both of your sons.

   If you do decide to live in a NEUTRAL place that supports peace and resolution with me and your sons, instead of the continued discord and fighting; please realize that much of BOTH of your son's anger has been being provoked by painful things that you do not realize are happening and you should also be careful to not unfairly blame them. They, like most of you men, just have a hard time dealing with the emotional pain and so tend to angrily lash out instead of crying it out...and its wise to be understanding of this and remember that people do not always mean what they say when they are angry/hurt.

And always...in the process of resolving issues we must be caring enough to step back and look at our own behaviors and how they effect others, and then be gentle with ourselves, as well as with others, as we aim to resolve the issues and make things better. I KNOW that you are capable of doing this, because I have seen you do it before. Please also do it now, Dad.

Honoring Our Natural Gender

 I think its really sad that so many people do not appreciate or honor their own natural gender or their own natural sense of sexuality. I believe that the vast majority of the current gay/lesbian movement is the result of pharmaceutical and microwave mind control. And I hope that freedom, from all types of negative influences, is quickly gained so that people (especially our children) can be free to honor their own natural gender and their own natural sense of sexuality...for the sake of their wellbeing.

Honoring my Natural Gender

copyright 3-28-2023 Sharon R. Poet

I am supposed to honor the natural way I am.

I was born a woman and I should stay this way,

No matter what some other people do or say.

And I preferred Love, with a kind and gentle man,

And wanted no shallow sex in someone else’s hand.

I am supposed to honor the natural way I am.

Natural Sexuality

copyright 3-28-2023 Sharon R. Poet

Was it abuse that made you turn away?

Were you brainwashed into being gay?

I hope honoring your natural sexuality

Becomes, for you, a healing reality.

P.S. For the record, I do not judge adults who choose to be lesbian or gay, but I do want it to be a free choice for them, and I do not want our children to be influenced/confused by the microwave mind control or by what should be private sexual choices of adults.
   In case you are wondering; No, I have never been sexual with a woman and its not due to a lack of opportunities. I had been approached many times and I always followed my own heart and my own instincts, which told me that it just did not feel right or good for me.
   At this point in my life I have chosen celibacy and do not want a sexual relationship with a man either. If I ever gain freedom from the targeting, my focus will be on healing and honoring my own natural spirituality and I will not want distractions from this, especially not energy draining ones.

For a Better World

I wish for the chaos and darkness in our world to be replaced with good old fashioned values, like honesty and integrity and kindness and peace and freedom and Love. I wish for this in my own family as well as in the rest of the world.

There is something horribly wrong in places where what is being promoted and accepted are things like... seeking vengeance, instead of kindly resolving problems... lieing to make other people look bad or make ourselves look better instead of being honest... bullying or manipulating people instead of letting them make their own free choices... belittling and degrading people instead of supporting healthy self esteem... attacking or threatening people, instead of being kind and considerate... using prejudice to fight prejudice, instead of using heart to end prejudice... projecting bad behaviors onto innocent people, instead of taking responsibility for them... letting greed deprive people in need, instead of letting wealth spread...etc. And this should NOT continue to become a wide spread norm that the rest of us are forced to accept and be hurt by.

Humanity should be free of ALL of the darkness and heartlessness that pharmaceutical and microwave mind control promotes.

WE SHOULD ALL BE FREE TO CARE ABOUT OUR FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS AND TREAT THEM IN WAYS THAT ARE KIND AND HELPFUL AND ARE NOT INTENTIONALLY HURTFUL OR VENGEFUL.

Trusting my Heart, my Instincts and my Visions

Today I got a short letter, which my sister appears to have had my father write to me. In the beginning he wrote "Sharon !!!" - my name with three exclamation points, which is not my father's style at all - but is my sister's style. In the letter he tells me that my sister is wonderfully helpful to him and that I should be "thankful"...etc.
   Its shocking that he can not see that ALL of his current upset at me is 100% only due to things that my sister is saying to him, in her usual efforts to upset him and turn him against me. I have no doubt that she is fabricating things, and possibly showing him misleading PARTS of things I've written, because this is evident in the messages she has had him leave on my phone. I have had no disputes with my father for over a decade. And I have not had any conversations with him since a month or two BEFORE the last big round of sabotaging that my sisters did in May of 2022 - when they aim to stop a family meeting and get my older brother and I out of our father's life so that they could take advantage of him in his vulnerable old age.

My sister's behaviors toward our father are actually like the psychopathic type perpetrator; fabricating things and instigating disputes and destroying the victims other relationships - manipulating the victim into a pain filled isolation... and then being the one to zoom in to help the victim who has been so traumatized that he now see's the perpetrator as the savior.
   This is exactly what my sisters have done to our father through the past two decades and severely in the past year and more. And so its no surprise that he now thinks that they are "wonderful." He has been so traumatized and brainwashed that he is unable to see or face the truth. And the truth is that, though my sisters have been "helpful" to him in some ways, they have been intentionally hurtful to him in MANY ways. So, I can not be very "thankful" for the ways that they have helped him, because I see how much they have hurt him and his relationships with other loved ones whom he had needed in his life...etc.

I will be "thankful" when my father is safe and free of the harmful manipulations and hurtful fabrications; when he is free to follow his own instincts and heart instead of my sister's hateful drives against other people he had been close to... when he is free to make his own choices, instead of being crushed and used in his two oldest daughter's heartless and greedy plans for him... when he is free to share his heart with his two hurting sons and resolve his issues with them, instead of letting his two oldest daughters continue to manipulate them out of his life... when he is free enough to not let my sister's turn him against me or use him to lash out at me - when he is no longer being hurt and used by my sisters...

I WILL BE HAPPY FOR MY FATHER WHEN HE HAS GENUINELY KIND AND CONSIDERATE AND NEUTRAL TYPES OF HELP, IN THE COMFORT OF HIS OWN HOME, SO THAT ALL OF HIS CHILDREN CAN PEACEFULLY VISIT HIM WITHOUT ANY PROBLEMS ARRISING, BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT WOULD BE BEST FOR HIM IN THIS FINAL STAGE OF HIS LIFE - WHEN PROBLEMS SHOULD BE BENG MENDED, INSTEAD OF BEING MADE WORSE.

That my father can not see how my sisters are saying things to upset him and make him lash out at me, is actually shocking, even if he has completely forgotten how hatefully jealous of me they always were...and even if he has forgotten the type of person he used to know I am. Most people would at least be objective enough to listen to the other side of a dispute between siblings, before passing judgement, but when it comes to this situation with my sisters and I, he now does the complete opposite, just like he did in 2003 when they fabricated emails against me - he just blindly believes them and lashes out at me.

In the letter my father says that he "still" loves me. (The "still" means after all the horrible things my sister's have convinced him that I have just recently done.) Since he is again joining my sister's hateful drives against me, I can not feel loved by him at all. In the condition they have reduced him to; he does not even have enough consideration for me to take an objective stand with me as my sisters bash me and turn him against me yet another time! This last round of this is like a knife being twisted in an old unhealed wound, causing even more injury to me. I feel deeply hurt by it. My little inner child just wants to cry, for the gross lack of love, and obvious lack of consideration and trust, that my father has for me. I do not feel loved by him - due to his behaviors toward me, I feel like he VERY unjustly dislikes me A LOT.
   In my mind I know his blocked heart is due to my sister's manipulations and fabrications and other parts of the targeting, but in my heart it still hurts. I can not even defend myself to him right now, because my sister controls all communications with him, but I do not think he would believe me even if I could.
   However, my love for him is still strong and I can easily forgive him because I know that he has been severely wounded/traumatized and brainwashed. What my sisters manipulate our father into doing to me is extremely unjust and cruel to me, but its even more hurtful to my father. That they still upset/hurt him just to use him against me, in his fragile old age, is a severe form of mental/emotional abuse. It deeply hurts BOTH of us.

In the letter my father says that he will be "back home as soon as possible." But I do not know if this means for a visit or permanently. (And it was ALWAYS "possible" for him to stay in his own home, even though my sisters now pretend it wasn't.) In the cover-up letter that my oldest sister sent to the family, over a month AFTER they silently implemented their secret plan for our father and took him out of his home... she had said that they would bring him back to New Hampshire "for a period of time" next summer, (as she pretended that it was now suddenly OK for us to visit him, after I'd exposed the truth), which indicated that the move is permanent and that the return to NH would only be for a visit. So, I guess only time will tell if they cancel their plans and return him to his own home permanently... and finally do right by him and his relationships with his other loved ones, even if its just to save face. Time will tell.

Due to the severity of the long standing discord between my sisters and the rest of us siblings in my family; it has been repeatedly suggested for a kind and considerate, neutral person, from outside the family, to be brought in to rent a room in my father's home in exchange for helping him...etc. And this is what should be happening so that my father can be at peace and so that ALL of his children and other loved ones can visit and help him without him or anyone else being distressed by my sister's or people whom they manipulate. This is actually the only right thing for him, and the WHOLE family in this situation, and I pray that it happens for the sake of his own health and wellbeing, because in this final stage of his life... he should have the opposite of what he has right now; he should be mending his relationships with his other loved ones and NOT be in a situation that keeps them severed or makes them worse - he should have peace and NOT be intentionally isolates and hurt and used by my sisters - he should have genuinely kind and caring and considerate and NEUTRAL help in his own home so that ALL of his children's hearts can PEACEFULLY visit him throughout this final stage of his life...so that he can cross-over in peace when his time in this life is over. This is the way it should be.

P.S. In my vision; my second oldest sister (and her daughter and other supporters) is like a rabid guard dog attacking people who close to our father while she hurts him and manipulates/molds him into what she wants him to be and what she wants him to do. And sadly, this is an accurate symbology of this situation , which is not good for anyone, including my sisters. It should be stopped and things set right.
   In my vision; my father is hunched over in a chair and sobbing uncontrollably - he is in a lot of emotional pain, due to what they are doing to him and his relationships with his other loved ones. My heart aches for him because he has already suffered FAR too much and he should not be hurt anymore and he should be in a safe and peaceful and neutral place where he is not being emotionally/mentally abused.

Three Days of Torture

 Very painful levels of microwaves shot into my head for the past three days. 

I just added a page that contains the attacking email that came from my sister's household... https://sharonrosepoet.blogspot.com/p/the-attacking-email.html

Mind Control Supports Greedy and Sadistic Aims in my Family

This is replacing the post I put up on the 9th of this month.

Never has the pharmaceutical and microwave mind control been more evident in my family of origin as it has in the past couple months. If I had any doubts of the validity of my belief in this, it is gone now.

The microwave mind control supports the greedy and sadistic aims of both of my sisters. My father is now like their blind and obedient little puppet...believing everything they tell him and doing what they want him to do... even when it includes betraying or unfairly blaming his other children for what my sisters do. Its really sad. His heart now seems blocked and not at all with me, or anyone else whom our sister's hate and are cruelly banishing from his life, since he started getting more money than the norm.   
Prior to 2003, my father did not believe the negative things my sister's fabricated about me, because he knew how hatefully jealous of me they were. He used to brush it off and say, "they are just jealous." But, since then he blindly believes them and even lashes out at me - blaming me for what my sisters say about me and what they do to me. Its a sick as hell scenario, that only mind control aiding my sisters manipulations and fabrications can explain. And its not just me. My sister's also wanted my older brother out of our father's life and accomplished this aim too, TWICE in the past five years or so. Its horrible, how they even use our father to isolate our father from his other loved ones, especially those of us who would do right by him and the family.

Both of my brothers are also effected by the mind control. And the ways it effects them supports my sister's aims with our father. They need freedom from the manipulative hell as much as my father does. And I need freedom from it too; it appears that, due to my awareness of the mind control and also the fact that I do not take any of the heart blocking types of pharmaceuticals, I have been able to override a lot of it. However I have undergone many rounds of the painful torture type of microwaving...as I stood up for my father in my family and on this blog...and some of this was also the type that interferes with brain function at strategic times.   
   Between this and the attacks coming from my second oldest sister's household...I hit a point where I just could not stand any more of it and closed a door on the family discord again. But I feel guilty, when it comes to my father and brothers, because they truly are not responsible for the way the pharmaceuticals and/or radio waves block their hearts and effect their minds.   
   But there is nothing else I could do, because my sister initially would not even let me even contact my father and now she is upsetting him with things in order to make him lash out at me in messages left on my phone. Its a hopeless situation that was becoming too overwhelmingly painful for me and too wrong for her to be using my father for her sadistic aims to hurt me. For his sake as well as mine I had to close the door.

At this time in my father's life, he should be in the comfort of his own home (where he wanted to stay for the rest of his life), and he should be surrounded by the love and support of ALL of his children now that he is 90 years old and ill. But, the complete opposite is now happening to him; my sisters sabotaged his relationship with his oldest son, and then manipulated him out of his own home and took him hundreds of miles away and now have him isolated and do not even let him have a phone that he can use on his own. Everything should be the complete opposite of what it is right now, for the sake of my father's wellbeing in this final stage of his life. But it isn't due to the sadistic and greedy aims in my sisters, which is VERY obviously supported by mind control being performed on my father and brothers. If this continues this way; my sisters hate and greed and cruelty will succeed and my father and his oldest son and I will remain deeply hurt.

I am deeply concerned about my father's emotional and mental health in this final stage of his life...and how cruel it would be to him if he went to his grave in the hell that my sisters and other parts of the targeting created - the hell which prevents real love from reaching him and repairing the damage that was done to his relationships with his oldest son and youngest daughter - me. Its just all too horribly wrong for all three of us.

My father and brothers not being aware of the microwave and pharmaceutical mind control, makes them blame each other unfairly. And if this situation continues this way...they will probably later also blame themselves unfairly. Its sad as hell.

AWARENESS OF THE MICROWAVE MIND CONTROL HAS TO BE PRESENT IN SITUATIONS LIKE THIS... FOR THE SAKE OF ALL THE VICTIMS WHO WOULD NOT BE BLAMING THEMSELVES OR BLAMING EACH OTHER IF THEY KNEW THE TRUTH. AND FREEDOM FROM ALL ASPECTS OF THE MICROWAVE TARGETING MUST BE GAINED, IN ORDER FOR THINGS TO BE SET RIGHT. GOD, HELP US ALL.

P.S. I had repeatedly told my father and brother's about the mind control, but none believed me because my sisters had been slandering me in the family since 2003 - convincing everyone that I am crazy. And it seems impossible for a severe mind control victim to even consider the possibility of being controlled. There is more about this situation on this blog post as well as others https://sharonrosepoet.blogspot.com/2023/01/recap-on-family-situation.html

Horrid Manipulations and Projections

On February 11th My oldest sister sent a cover-up email, pretending that all is fine and that she is informing us and that its OK for the rest of us to go visit or contact our 90 year old ill father. But all is not Ok. They SAY its OK, but they manipulate things to make it NOT OK...
   They sent an email to the whole family, from my sister's household where my father is, which cruelly attacked my older brother, his wife and I. In it they did the usual stabbing of our old wounds and littered it with masses of blatant lies and obvious aims to try to cause trouble for my brother and his wife. Its a nasty sick attack that was clearly to make me look bad to others and upset and hurt three of us and make us feel VERY unwelcome at the house where my father is being kept... all while still CLAIMING that we are welcome to call or visit our father. Its VERY twisted.
   After they sent the mean and dishonest and hateful email...my sister said and did things to make him blame me for what she did and then called me to have him leave a message on my phone where he tells me to stop "lieing." I truly am not the one who was lieing. This is VERY typical of her behaviors, but its shocking that she still used him this way now that he is 90 years old and ill. But this shows the level of consideration she has for him in her aims to abuse me and destroy my relationship with him. Most people would not have upset and involved an ill 90 year old man like that. But she even did it again a couple days ago...

I had told this sister to not contact me again. Then she disregarded my boundary and VERY OBVIOUSLY said or did things to upset my father again (far worse this time) and then called me to have him angrily lace into me. (This was left in voice message, like the other one.) At one point in this call she interrupted him - pouring on her fake voice - pretending that she is sweetly just wanting him to let me know that he is OK. Then he obeyed and said he was OK. Then she told him to continue and then he obeyed and continued berating me... telling me to stop being "hateful" and "mean" to my sisters...etc. I texted her and told her to stop using him and get herself some help and stop projecting her own behaviors onto me... Then she sent me a text where she said. "I am doing nothing but letting an old man call his daughter and tell her he loves her. I guess you just don't wanna hear it." Blatant mental abuse!
   My sister's mental abuse games and the process of her projecting her "hateful" and "lieing" and "greedy" and "mean" behaviors onto me...and even using my father (as if he were a worthless puppet) to do it for her, is not a new scenario for me. (It happened on a severe scale around 2003 and more mildly through all of our lives.) But it is just too wrong for her to be upsetting and using our father while he is ill and needing the complete opposite. Its actually cruel to him...and it also prevents him from having positive communication with me. (I can't even do any damage control now that he is living with her, because I am sure she wont let him get messages from me.)
   Both of my sisters know that I am not the one who is "lieing" and that I was not the one who is in a place of "hate" in the recent family emails or at any other time in the past. (The fact that I never would join THEIR "hate" crap is actually one of the reasons why they used to snidely call me, "little miss perfect.") This is all just the usual - them pretending that I am the bad guy - that I am the one who is doing to them what THEY TRULY have done to me throughout my life and are still doing. So, I closed the door. It is VERY common for abusers to call their victims, , "liars" and "insane" and "Hateful," when the victims stand up with the truth...although they themselves are the ones who perform these behaviors. But I think it is not common for them to carelessly use ill and elderly relatives to do it for them.

IN THIS FINAL STAGE OF MY FATHER'S LIFE EVERYTHING SHOULD BE JUST ABOUT THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT IT NOW IS. HE IS TRAPPED IN HELL AND DOES NOT EVEN KNOW IT.

He should be surrounded by the love of ALL of his children, in his own home where he wanted to be for the rest of his life... but the most heartless of his children are depriving him of the most caring ones... and are even using him to help abuse one of them - the one who is standing up for him with the truth. Its sad as hell.

   I wrote the following statements in a letter to my sisters, but am sharing it here instead of sending it, because I do not want to re-open that door, which I had to close for the sake of my own sanity. Since those two phone messages he is now again just an extension of her abuse - her sick game of pretending that I am the one who is "hateful", "mean", "lieing" and "insane." He is now doing the same type of thing that she set him up to do in 2003 and 2004 after she fabricate emails from my account - berating me and blaming me for what SHE did to me...its just too cruel and hurtful. I can't take anymore. I feel like I just finished losing my father one final time. I am seriously considering changing my phone number again.

For my sisters,

NOTHING that you upset Dad with, and make him say to me, has any impact on my trust in myself and my awareness of my feelings and my awareness of my motives or my conviction to stand up against your manipulative abuse and what you are doing to Dad at a time when he is ill and 90 years old. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! YOU CAN NOT MAKE ME RELAPS INTO SILENCE, THROUGH YOU CARELESSLY USING DAD TO PROJECT YOUR "hateful" "lieing" BEHAVIORS ONTO ME! IT JUST GIVES ME SOMETHING ELSE TO STAND UP WITH. In fact, every time you do more manipulations and more of the abuse it actually strengthens my conviction to stand up against it. I

  WILL BE SILENT NO MORE!

There is more about this situation on this blog post

 https://sharonrosepoet.blogspot.com/2023/01/recap-on-family-situation.html

The attacking email is here...

https://sharonrosepoet.blogspot.com/p/the-attacking-email.html