Some knowledgeable people believe that Israel was behind the 9-11 attacks on our country, in an effort to manipulate our military leaders into joining Israel's violent thieving wars against people in the Middle East. I think this is probably true.
Revised on 9-14-2026 at 1:30pm
Most of us tend to share only exaggerated good times, after the death of a loved one. For a short time, this may help us to some degree. But then reality must be faced, because its not healthy to avoid it. I think it's important to be more honest and I am taking it to an extreme, with some of my worse memories, in this post.
One of the real truths about my father is that he was a mild form of a pedophile; he had encouraged at least one of his toddler aged children to touch him. And then he later strived to prevent anyone from ever knowing about it - he started brutally mentally abusing one of his adult children out of fear of his shameful act possibly being remembered or exposed.
When I first started looking back at and healing from the tough times in my childhood, in the late 1980s, my father had tried to convince me that something was wrong with me - that I should not be wanting to look at my childhood, and that my "mother had the same problem." Then after I went into counseling and the counselor told me there was nothing wrong with me and encouraged me to continue looking back and healing, he tried to get me to stop seeing the counselor and kept drilling me with, "Nothing good ever came from looking at the past"...etc. Then, when I would not let go of it, he strived to keep me separated from my siblings. I was literally shunned from my family. My looking back at the past was clearly a huge threat to him, and I didn't even suspect or realize why until 2004, after my sisters triggered his launch into even more severe levels of mental abuse. Then he and my second oldest sister started trying to convince me that I am insane and should be put into an asylum. Ironically, the sudden outrageously abusive aims to cover up his shameful act is what helped to exposed it; I realized what he did because of my search for reasons for his mental abuse, and then was forced to speak up about it, because of his ongoing mental abuse and aims to turn other people against me.
2004 was a VERY tough year for me. Words cannot express how painful it had been to face the fact that my own father cared about me so little, that he was trying to destroy my sanity, and had destroyed what little was left of my relationships in the rest of the family, in order to cover his own mistake. It still hurts. But I now sometimes feel more sad for him than I do for myself, because he was his own worse enemy in this whole situation and he must have been miserable - so filled with shame and guilt that was never resolved. If only he had chosen a better path - a way to deal with his initial mistake that would have been good for him and everyone else. The dark path he chose put me in a position where I had to either stand up and tell the truth or accept the "insane" label and possibly even be shoved into an insane asylum. In 2006 I chose to tell the truth. I matter too. Then doubt later settled in and I washed it all away and forgave him..., but then my two older sisters (and father?) dredged the ugly mess back up through slamming me with another round of severe mental abuse at the worse possible time - directly after his death in 2024. They did this in an addendum to this will.
Since then I have been facing the real facts more deeply then I ever have. And many new puzzle pieces have been clicking into place. And I feel that I must fully expose the real truth, for everyone's sake; the real truth is that my father had launched into rounds of mental abuse, in order to hide his shameful act, since I started looking back at my childhood in the 1980s. And my sisters, who had always been hatefully jealous of me, had cruelly triggered and fueled and joined his drive against me, although they secretly knew the real truths in this whole situation, long before I did.
My father's inappropriate sexual behavior was so mild that it had no affect on me. It was not forceful or abusive. I was so little that it would have been no different from holding his hand. And it appears to have been just one incident when I was around one year old. BUT, the mental abuse and slanders that he launched into, in order to cover it up, and the hateful roles my sisters played in the whole situation, were horrifically hurtful to me. Aside from the mental abuses and fabrications, I lost my whole family in a way that was far worse than if they had all been killed in a plane crash. I have been almost completely separate from my family since around 1990. Trust was completely shattered. And I had even lost trust in my own sanity, on two occasions. It was devastating. I do not know if I will ever fully recover from the pain of it all, especially since its not even over yet! Even though my father is gone, other members of my family still hold that axe over my head; they still say that I am "crazy" or "insane" and that I "belong in an asylum." I know that they say it out of hatful aims to scare or hurt me. But will they act on it and try to have me imprisoned? I don't know. I know they can't, without fabricating things, but they have proven to be more than capable of that. I still do not feel safe. :-(
I share this publicly, for all the people whom it could help to validate or save from such horrific experiences. The problem of adults being (even just mildly) sexually inappropriate with children must have more exposure, so that people are less inclined to do it; public knowledge instilling a fear of exposure, in those who can't care about the children, can save the children from these types of experiences. And the horrid crime of calling the victims "insane" or "crazy" or "mentally ill," in order to hide the shameful act, must also have more exposure, so that it can be recognized for what it is and stopped.
My father was also not some of the things that my sisters claimed he was in his 2024 obituary. He did not "raise" his six children alone after our mother died - he actually abandoned the two who were not already grown up by then - my two little brothers. He had even kicked one of them out of the house when he was only around 15 years old and was in desperate need of the understanding and love that my father was not capable of. I was 18 and my other three siblings were older than that when our mother died; we'd already been raised and were mostly not living at his home. And I was actually mostly raised by a two sets of surrogate parents, through all of my teen years, because of my own father and mother rarely being there for me. (They were my saving grace.) My father actually seemed to never really want any of the children whom he often avoided when we were young, and then latter rarely even initiated contact with, except for when he wanted something.
My father was actually not a "creative" type of person at all; most of his conversations and writings came from other people's experiences and writings. (He actually used to repeat my wisdom as if it were his own!) The real truth is that he was a man who had never really found himself, never fully lived life, and never faced or did anything to address or help heal or resolve any of the most important family issues that had needed his attention. He actually sometimes mischievously fueled or instigated problems instead of being the adult. (He was not really the "patriarch"/leader of our family; my abusive oldest sister actually controlled almost everything, including him, which is why I left home when I was 15 years old.) My father was actually like a child who just stumbled through the family, and life, avoiding all the depths. He was a man who was so filled with shame that he had a hard time facing people; he had mostly isolated himself from society through his whole adult life. He actually had no close friends, except for his brother Jr.
And my father did not really die in a "loving" home; he actually died after being taken from his own home and kept isolated, against his will, in an emotionally abusive environment, where he (no doubt) gave up on his own life very quickly. Both of my older sisters wanted most of his money for themselves, and they manipulated many things and even abused and separated their own siblings and father, in order to make sure they got it. I have felt deeply sad for my father, because, with them at the helm, he was not only deeply hurt in his final years, but also had no chance to have a healthy closure with his two remaining sons and I, while he was on his death bed. And this was not good for anyone, especially not for him. Although I tried in every way I could, I was not able to save my father - to return him to his own home, where he wanted to be, and get him the proper kinds of help. :-(
My father's life and death were not at all like what has been portrayed publicly. Much of it was sad as hell. This is the real truth.
P.S. Now I wonder if my father played a role in putting me on a "hit list" to be covertly targeted. He is the one who most intensely wanted people to think I was crazy, which is what the covert targeting is designed to do. :-(
I just realized that three of my books appear to have been removed from the Barnes and Nobles Publishing site and are no longer purchasable. These are my most important writings - my life's work - my dedication to the Heart of humanity! And this will be at least the fourth time I have been forced to start over again and either repost them or find another publisher! 😞 Its just not right. BUT they are available here as free PDFs. I just hope that they will not again be altered by those who target me and infiltrate my computers...
In the late 1980s I was doing a lot of deep inner child/healing work. This is where the content of my "Embracing Feelings and Healing" book first took root. During that time I attended many different types of workshops, and had many profound healing experiences. One was at a large yoga center, which gathered a small group of people who were focused on healing from painful experiences or losses.
In the end of the weekend we all stood in a circle, holding hands, while the song "I want to Know What Love is" by Michael Jones, was loudly played over and over again. Eventually we began singing it to each other...and then tears soon started streaming down most of our faces. Words can't express how deeply heart touching and healing this experience was for me. It was one of my most profound healing experiences and I'd like to share it with you...
I am challenging you to do this, even of its just in the form of knowing that ALL of our fellow human beings should be our loved ones - the people we share our hearts with. None of us are whole enough to do it perfectly, but we can and must strive to open our own hearts to increasingly deeper levels, in order to help our world to become more safe and more peaceful and more loving. And please help hold onto the vision of conflicts dissipating and hearts uniting all around the globe... Imagine estranged people holding hands; democrats and republicans, Ice and harmless immigrants (in America), Palestinians and Jewish immigrants (in Palestine)..., rich people and poor people... Christians and those who embrace natural spirituality or other religions..., Current Canadian and American leaders and those of all other feuding countries...etc.; human beings of all different colors and sizes and beliefs holding hands and healing the past while singing, "I want to know what LOVE is. I want you to show me. I want to feel what LOVE is... I know you can show me."
Below is the part of this song that had touched my heart so profoundly, but it was not just the words, it was also the fellow human beings - the group of strangers who, in those two days, had been the loving family that I had desperately needed and longed for at that time. I still treasure those moments when we all deeply opened and shared our hearts with this song. I don't remember any of the names or faces, but I remember the Love. It touched me so deeply that those few moments, of giving and receiving deep levels of real Love, are still helping to carry me through the toughest times in my life. All of the lyrics in this song had perfectly fit my situation, but this verse was the most profound one, shortly after I began facing and healing from my childhood in the late 1980s, and was shunned by my family for doing so...
"This mountain I must climb is like the world upon my shoulders. Through the clouds I see Love shine. It keeps me warm as life grows colder. In my life there's been heart ache and pain. I don't know if I can face it again. Can't stop now, I've traveled so far, to change this lonely life. I want to know what LOVE is. I want you to show me. I want to feel what LOVE is. I know you can show me..."
This quote reminds me of situations like what Israel has been doing to the Palestinians in the West Bank and Gaza parts of Palestine, as well as in Lebanon, Iran...etc.
WHEN WE STOP MISTREATING PEOPLE,
THEY STOP WANTING TO STRIKE BACK.
Israel is still aiming to "finish the job" of stealing the remaining Palestinian lands and getting rid of the Palestinians, through killing and violently forcing them out of their own homes and off of their own lands...etc. :-(
Israel's 'Massive Killing Machine' and War Crimes
Continue Despite Ceasefire Agreement
https://youtu.be/aLrnpAWQn7U?si=jvy29uKt5KVeBiKD
FREE PALESTINE OF ISRAEL'S THIEVING VIOLENCE.
REAL PEACE AND FREEDOM AND SAFETY MUST EXIST FOR THE PALESTINIANS ON THEIR OWN LANDS. AND THE SAME GOES FOR ALL OTHER PLACES AND PEOPLE THAT ISRAEL AND ITS SUPPORTERS HAVE BEEN INVADING OR ATTACKING.
When the real truth is denied, it is a form of mental abuse,
because it makes people doubt their own instincts and intuition.
I think the unusual amount of forest fires are not all natural - I think some are being intentionally lit for various reasons. So what would intentional fires be for? Are some to pave a way for mining or real-estate development or oil drilling or to force Native people (First Nation people) off their lands...etc.?
The problem with Indigenous people being burned out of their villages, and off their lands, appears to extend beyond Ontario and into other parts of Canada and possibly the rest of the world... "The 2026 wildfire season is not treating all Canadians equally. First Nations communities represent 5% of Canada's population but bear 42% of its wildfire evacuations. This season, a First Nation burned to the ground without warning in the same week that Ontario cut its firefighting budget by nearly half." https://www.medicaldaily.com/first-nation-burned-ground-without-warning-exposing-canadas-wildfire-response-failures-476168
When we know what is happening, and why and how, we
have a better chance of stopping the crimes from continuing.
I suspect that weather modification technologies and laser weapons
may be being used in that process, in some situations.
Lasers shot to burn the trees
Dropping people to their knees,
Then tore through veils of smoke
To crush real truth as it spoke.
Greed's deception has been chiming
As engines rev to start the mining.
But people see and people know.
Real truth will always show.
IT IS BEST TO FOLLOW OUR OWN INSTINCTS
BECAUSE THERE IS NOT ALWAYS EVIDENCE OF THE REAL TRUTHS.
It has been proven that "science" does not always know everything.
Since Ice's VERY obviously wrong and unjust murdering, of the harmless LEGAL immigrant in Maine, and the traumatizing of a whole neighborhood, yesterday, Ice is now claiming that it is going to back off on swarming people while they are driving. But this truly is too little too late. Ice has lost the trust and respect of most American citizens, because of their own hateful and violent and belligerent behaviors. Ice should NOT be in our communities, especially not without massive reforms and body cams.
Last night I cried uncontrollably as I tried to go to sleep. Between the Ice terror in our communities, and the evil part of Christianity freely harming children and others, and our country being lead by violent hate and greed and prejudice....and who is there to address the real core problem beneath it all???? Its all just too much hell.
Below are more of my feelings and thoughts, mostly on this last Ice murder in Maine, but they also apply to all other similar situations...
Shooting the man while he was driving is what made the situation extremely "unsafe for the public!"
I am astounded by the lack of consideration in Ice. Ice repeatedly claims that "fear" made them kill a runner, yet they should realize that it is "fear" that makes people (even legal people) run from the hateful Ice thugs who belligerently swarm and attack people. Ice MUST find its heart or be abolished.
People who run are NOT committing a crime! He is only guilty of fearing Ice! And the vile hateful behaviors of Trump and the Ice thugs are what instilled that fear. WHEN PEOPLE ARE TERRIFIED THEY DO NOT THINK - THEY JUST REACT AND TRY TO GET AWAY. THIS IS JUST HUMAN NATURE! HARMLESS IMMIGRANTS SHOULD NOT BE BEING TERRORIZED, SHOULD NOT BE TORN FROM THEIR HOMES AND LOVED ONES, SHOULD NOT BE SHOVED INTO PRISONS, AND SHOULD NOT BE ATTACKED AND KILLED!
Harmless immigrants should be treated with kindness and consideration for their feelings and lives. Just because they are not here legally does not mean they are "criminals," it most often just means that they heard about America being a welcoming and good place to go to, in order to be safe and free...etc. They thought this because America used to be this. The USA was built by immigrants!
How many people have been murdered by violent Ice thugs, beyond what has been witnessed and reported in the news? I'm sure there has been some, maybe a lot. Immigrants do not call the police when their loved ones vanish, and if bodies are stripped of ID, (like Ice recently did with the man in Houston) the hospitals would not know who to call...etc.
Ice and Trump are acting with hate and prejudice and lawlessness and are terrorizing people. ALL DECENT PEOPLE ARE AGAINST THIS VILE BEHAVIOR AND WANT TO PROTECT PEOPLE FROM IT, NO MATTER WHAT PARTY THEY BELONG TO. Shame on those who condone it.
It seems like Ice thugs are intentionally placing themselves in front of vehicles, so that they can shoot people and claim that the victim was using their vehicle as a weapon.
I feel that I speak for most of us American citizens when I say that we want the harmless people/immigrants, who have already settled into our communities, to have safety and an offer of citizenship, instead of being terrorized and abused by Ice.
In general... our law enforcement agencies do a very good job with stopping crimes, because they are well trained professionals who do not terrorize people; they are not rude to people and do not foolishly assume that all immigrants are dangerous criminals, and they approach people with lights and badges and kind questions and unmasked faces and body cams, and they do not smash windows in or break doors down or swarm and tackle people and shove them into the pavement without REAL just cause...etc. And Ice does the complete opposite. ICE DOES NOT BELONG IN OUR COMMUNITIES - IT SHOULD BE ABOLISHED OR REFORMED AND ONLY USED ON THE BOARDERS, CATCHING THE REAL HARD CORE CRIMINALS, LIKE VIOLENT DRUG RUNNERS....ETC. (I think more funding should go to professional local and state law enforcement, instead of Ice, because they can handle the situation in our communities, without scaring everyone and without terrorizing or killing harmless people/immigrants...etc.)
This is almost the same as the one in Houston and the killing of Renee Good. Its appears they have continued the same habit, but this time they say they shot the man, while he was driving, because they feared he'd be unsafe for the public. Yet, shooting the man while he was driving made the situation extremely unsafe for the public. The man appears to have been a harmless legal father who was just trying to go to work. His wife and child were on the street crying as the Ice thugs pulled his bloody body from the car...
There is a LOT I could say about this, but it really speaks for itself and is a call for decent human beings to realize what is happening and stop it from continuing....
In a Bible school adults enacted a VERY realistic execution/murder in front of masses of grade school age children. While the execution took place they had all the little children chanting over and over again, "Take him out. blow him up! Take him out. blow him up! Take him out. blow him up! Take him out. blow him up..." And the clip has a bar on it that reads, "Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition." They shoot the man dozens of times in the church, then drag his body outside, and then the paster has the kids count to 7 and then there is an explosion - the blowing him up part.
The preacher admitted that he has been doing this to children for "32 years" and tried to claim that it was about "killing the devil," but the person executed was NOT dressed like the devil and was a human being dressed like an ordinary human being. (This part says a LOT.) No matter what there is no good excuse for exposing grade school age children to an enactment of a violent murder, as if it's ok to kill people whom they perceive as bad or have been told are bad! Not a decent person in the world would fail to see how evil this is. Yet it has been passed by in most of the media, as if teaching children to murder people is normal!
I feel that this is probably just one tiny leaked part of what has been secretly happening, in many churches, for many decades. The current state of our world is a reflection of what things like this have caused in our communities and countries. Below is the most accurate article I have found, which includes the video of the actual event. See for yourself....
Last night I had a dream, which showed that both America and I have been sprayed by a skunk, and then unfairly judged for it.
I don't know if this was about the past, present or future. It could be any or all of them. It sure seems to fit for the past and present. The evil that targets humanity wants the good to look bad and has already used many people and things to cause a lot of damage in this arena. Hopefully it will be stopping instead of continuing.
This is an amazing story about a carving in the Native's sacred Black Hills in the mid Western USA - a place I hope to visit someday...
HARMLESS IMMIGRANTS SHOULD NOT BE BEING TERRORIZED, SHOULD NOT BE BEING TORN FROM THEIR HOMES AND LOVED ONES, SHOULD NOT BE BEING SHOVED INTO PRISONS, AND SHOULD NOT BE BEING ATTACKED AND KILLED!
I can understand the cut back on migration to our country, if too many (to be accommodated) truly have been trying to come here. But this problem should be handled, primarily, at our borders. The harmless immigrants, who already have well established homes and lives here, (especially if they have no home or safe place to return to) should be allowed to stay and should be offered citizenship, because this is just the right and humane thing to do.
Its fair to ask them to learn the basics of the English language, and to encourage and help them find jobs so they will not be a burden on our welfare system, and to expect them to learn and respect the laws in our communities...etc. But what Trump and Ice have been doing to them is NOT right and is inhumane.
ICE SHOULD BE COMPLETELY REMOVED FROM OUR COMMUNITIES UNTIL IT HAS BEEN REFORMED AND RETRAINED - UNTIL IT HAS THE SENSE TO BEHAVE PROFESSIONALLY AND IS CAPABLE OF TREATING ALL PEOPLE HUMANELY...AND UNTIL EVERY MEMBER AND VEHICLE IS WEARING CAMS TO ENSURE THAT REAL TRUTH AND JUSTICE PREVAILS.
The greatest part of America has always offered freedom and safety to immigrants.
OUR USA WAS BUILT BY IMMIGRANTS!
Everyone, who is not 100% Native American, is an immigrant.
Contrary to what many have been convinced of... IT DOES NOT MATTER HOW "EDUCATED" OR "UNEDUCATED" WE ARE..., OR IF WE ARE "CHRISTIANS" OR NOT..., OR IF WE ARE WHAT SOME VIEW AS "HARD WORKING" OR NOT..., OR IF WE HAVE A LOT OF MONEY OR NOT.
ALL OF US DESERVE TO BE TREATED FAIRLY AND HUMANELY - ALL OF US DESERVE LOVE AND KINDNESS AND CONSIDERATION FOR OUR FEELINGS AND LIVES.
Some of the most uneducated people are among the wisest and most intelligent people.
Some of us have a life purpose that does not include a 9 to 5 job or regular pay, and we matter just as much as everyone else.
Some of us are not rich because we feel that hoards of extra money is NOT even one of the important things in life. And we focus on the things that are important.
Non-Christian people are often some of the kindest and most caring people. So nobody should be telling us things like, "oh I'm surprised that happened in this neighborhood, because it is filled with good Christian people," or "oh they would not do that because they are good Christian people"...etc., because this is just another way to assimilate/shame people into Christianity. Most people who are not Christians are also good people, and we should NOT have to convert to Christianity, in order to be perceived as "good people," especially not in places like America where there is freedom of religion. (And the real truth is that not all Christian people are truly "good" - some have proven to be criminals. Christians are no better than anyone else.)
Updated July 11, 20216
A few months ago I had a dream which showed that this Ice is not the American Ice. And I believe this to be true, not only because of the dream, but also because of Ice's behaviors being like that of the cruel and heartless IDF's behaviors in Palestine. I think Ice members include a lot of enslaved mind control victims who are trained/programmed to be violent thugs, and that is exactly what they behave like. Over and over again they have proven to be a danger to America, especially to our harmless immigrants and homeless people. And they have been dishonest and have repeatedly leapt to fabricate things against and blame the victims of their own violence.
It actually sometimes seems like Ice is intentionally murdering some immigrants, in order to terrorize the other's into leaving our country; After their killings, masses of maga puppets (or AI bots) swarm the web, saying things like, "if they leave this will not happen to them. Its their fault."
This victim of Ice violence was actually legally in the process of applying for citizenship and was not even one of the ones Ice was looking for. Below is a (straight from the heart) testimony by the son of the man whom Ice killed yesterday....
Israel's evil intrusions and murders have continued in Gaza and West Bank and Lebanon. Trump's Middle East "peace" deals have proven to be dishonest as he fails to uphold real peace and continues to support or join Israel's illegal occupations and evil targeting of people who resist Israel's genocidal land thefts...etc. And it looks like Trump is indeed continuing to attack Iran, Israel style. ALL OF ISRAEL AND TRUMP'S GREEDY BARBARIC VIOLENCE MUST BE STOPPED AND PALESTINE AND LEBANON AND SYRIA AND IRAN SET FREE OF IT. And the same goes for ALL other places they have targeted.
It appears that, in the past couple days they are microwaving my eyes in way that is making them ache and makes my vision more blurry.
