THIS IS YET ANOTHER ROUND OF TRYING TO FORCE ME INTO BEING IMPRISONED IN AN INSTITUTION WHERE IT IS ALMOST A GUARANTEE THAT PSYCHOTROPIC DRUGS AND SHOCK TREATMENTS WOULD DESTROY ME SPIRTUALLY AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY. My father and sisters have always known that I HAD seen a psychologist - that I HAVE been in counseling, so this is NOT about me getting help and IS about hurting me and silencing me and destroying my sanity. This is definitely part of the evil targeting.
I have been trying to figure out how much of this was by father's doing and how much was my sisters doing. And I have come to the conclusion that it was a heavy dose of both - that my sister used an issue, that existed between my father and I, to torment him and abuse and deprive me or have me institutionalized right after my father's death. I never expected an inheritance; I felt that even if my father had me in his will, my sisters would probably see to it that I got nothing. But the directive is a VERY painful blow to me. Even if my sister initially wrote it or pushed him to write it, the fact that my father had been trying to have me institutionalized, even though he KNEW I had already gone into counseling to get help with healing from my difficult childhood, is still a VERY painful reality, that I have been faced with since 2002. The pain, of knowing that my own father cared about me so little that he would have me thought to be insane and imprisoned cut me to the core in 2004 - when I realized why, and I guess I didn't totally cry it all out during my healing sessions in 2004 and 2007, because it still hurts a lot now.
Its just like my sister to want to deeply stab me at a time when I am already hurting - right after my father's death. She did this to both my father and I right after my youngest brother's death, through fabricating emails against him, from my email account. The cruelty is shocking. It shouldn't shock me anymore, but it still does. But it is more than just her. Its been my whole family either going along with it, or being deceived and pulled along by it.
I loved my father and I forgave him, even though he'd made some grave mistakes and never was much of a father to me. And finding out that his "love" and "forgiveness"," in the past decade, was only empty and dishonest words, hurts a lot. Its easy to blame my sisters, because their jealous hate did not want him to even care about me, and had fueled and used the old issue (between my father and I) to hurt both of us. But it was him too. And its time for e to face the full scope of this. This has been VERY difficult for me, because its not been just a painful lack of love for me, in my family, its been an evil drive to hurt me and deprive me and destroy my sanity. My own father wanting to destroy my sanity, in order to hide his little mistake. It hurts like hell.
My father had refused to help me, financially, after I was shoved into poverty by covert targeting that even stole my bank account, unless I checked myself into an institution. He and my whole family knows that I do not do drugs and that I do not drink alcohol and that I am not suicidal and that I do not harm people and that I HAVE been in counseling - (counceling that my father had initially actually tried to stop me from continuing!) But still, no help to get back onto my own feet, unless I get institutionalized. To most people this makes no sense at all, because most families would actually do the complete opposite; if a family member was really thought to be mentally ill they would help them even more, because of it, not less. It makes no sense, because its part of the evil targeting and the aim is to hurt me and silence me and destroy my sanity under the guise of "help" in a place that uses electric shock "treatements" to wipe out people's memories and psychiatric pharmaceuticals to block their spirituality and hearts and make them more manipulatable/brainwashable. Did my own father want to destroy me this way, in order to cover up the "issue"? It appears so.
This has been the most painful thing I've ever had to face! But I believe it even more now, because of what I recently saw in a vision. I saw a shocking darkness in my father and uncle. And I think it has probably always been there, because my father used to deprive me, and intentionally fuel my sister's jealousy of me...etc., when I was a child as well as in my adult life. Perhaps this is where my sister got the sneeky manipulative hurtful stuff from. Me being the complete opposite - having a lot of heart, made me their target in MANY subtle ways, but in some very obvious ones too. What is happening now, with the directive, is very obvious.
This is part of a statement I wrote for my siblings...
Well... I've covered both sides of this. As I processed it I went back and forth - was it Dad or was it Vivian (and probably Evelyn too) who wrote the directive? And I have come to the conclusion that it was definitly both. Below are the bare facts...
1. The "directive" was written in 1015 and revised in the fall of 2021. Around 2015 Vivian had found out that I was connecting with Dad and was on a rampage against me and was trying to reset a wall between Dad and I. This was when I had my last conversation with her. In that conversation she had said, "Stay out of New Boston" before she viciously spit out "You are evil and I am going to protect my father from you." I hung up on her.
And the late summer and fall of 2021 appears to be when Vivian and Evelyn found out that I was talking to both Gerry and Dad and was setting Dad up with a diet plan...etc. It was after this that they also reconnected with Gerry, started the family emails and appear to have even set Dad up with a new TV and phone that he and his communications could be monitored through. There is not a doubt in my mind that my sisters either reraised 'the issue' with Dad or had him sign that revised directive without him knowing what he was signing. If they had reraised it with him I think it would have been evident in my conversations with him. One of my best conversations with Dad was AFTER the date of the 2021 revision. Was he that two faced? I'm not sure.
2. I doubt that Dad would have wanted this issue being exposed in the family when he died. That I know of, nobody but Vivian knew about it until right after Gerry had set up the family meeting for Dad in 2022. That was when Mike said to me, "Vivian told me that you accused Dad of sexual abuse." Then I addressed it with my siblings, and shouldered the blame. Point being, that was not until 2022 - several months AFTER the directive was revised.
3. It is possible that, in 2021, Dad feared me telling the family after he'd died, if Vivian or Evelyn raised the issue with him again. But I have a hard time believing that Dad wrote some of the dishonest parts of the directive, especially in 2021 when he knew that I WAS already reconnected with the family (him and my brothers) for many years.
I'm sure my sisters expected me to say that I don't want any of the inheritance anyway. I'm not doing that, because I refuse to let greed and jealous hate freely have what it wants to deprive me of. I am making this I firm stand... I WILL NOT GET THE DESTRUCTIVE "TREATEMENT." AND I WILL NOT GET CLOSER TO A FAMILY THAT HURTS ME TOO MUCH AND DISTRUSTS MY SANITY TOO MUCH FOR IT TO BE A HEALTHY OR SAFE PLACE FOR ME. I WILL NOT AGREE TO ANY MANIPULATIVE AND DECIETFUL PLAN MY SISTERS MAY HAVE CONCOCTED, IN ORDER TO HAVE CONTROL OVER MY LIFE AND HURT ME EVEN MORE THAN THEY ALREADY HAVE. AND I WILL NOT ERASE ANY OF MY WRITINGS, IN ORDER TO GET MY INHERITANCE. I WANT MY FULL FAIR SHARE OF THE MONETARY PART OF OUR INHERITANCE TO BE DELIVERED UNCONDITIONALLY.
Whether or not I am allowed to get my fair share of the inheritance is up to my sisters, but its also up to my brothers to go along with them or not. I think we all know how this is going to go. But by making this stand - I can know that I didn't help my sisters to hurt or deprive me...
If there is a sneeky plan to pretend to "help" me, through allowing me to stay in Dad's house or the cabin in Maine, where the neighbors can harass me and my sisters can moniter me or set me up to be hauled off to an institution, THIS IS NOT GOING TO SUCCEED, BECAUSE I WILL NOT GO. PERIOD. (I had a dream warning of this.)
I do not feel comfortable or safe being too close to the family and this is not going to change in the near future, because of my state of overwhelm and the proven levels ill intentions that have and still do exist toward me there. Even just being as close as I have been worries me. One current concern is due to a dream, which warned me about my words being changed in an evil aim to hurt me. Since then I've learned that digital voice recordings can be altered, in order to make it look like a person has said things they didn't say or like a conversation was different from what it really was. I hope my sisters have not been having Mike or anyone else do recordings of my conversations, for this purpose. Mike has recently been VERY pushy about trying to force me to call him, instead of doing text or email just for important things, like I have repeatedly requested. (Unfortunately I bit the hook once in the past year, just a few days ago. I need this to stop.
There is just too much hate and deceit and ill intentions and sneaky manipulativeness and dishonesty in the family, for me to feel safe or comfortable being too close to it. But I love you all and I still pray for positive change.
You ALL know that I am homeless and that I deeply need enough financial help, in order to get back onto MY OWN feet and get MY OWN home in a place where there is at least a chance for me to be and feel safe. Is my family going to continue intentionally depriving me of this financial help? A bit of time will tell. But I am not expecting anything.
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