I Tried and I Cried

I tried everything I could do to help my father be permanently returned to his own home, where he has wanted to remain for the rest of his life; “Until my last breath,” he himself had said about year ago. First I tried reaching my sister’s hearts. After that was met with a negative reaction, I tried kindly standing up in the whole family. Then I tried blatantly and honestly confronting the whole situation in the whole family. This was met with one supportive comment from my older brother and an EXTREMELY dishonest, hateful and mean response from my sister’s household. I tried giving my sisters an ultimatum and sending reports to law enforcement in Ohio. But this was met with them threatening to prove me insane. I was even going to offer to sign my share of my inheritance over to my sisters if they would just let our father stay in his own home, with good neutral help there for him, for the rest of his life. But they probably already had my father wipe me out of his will, if he hadn’t when I’d asked him to, in order to make things better for him many years ago. Even if I am still in his will I do not think that giving my sisters my share would help much, because greed is not the only problem in this situation with them sabotaging my father’s relationships with my older brother and I and isolating him in Ohio. Greed is surely the primary motivation in my oldest sister, who is no doubt the ring leader for that part of it. But in my second oldest sister I think its more about sadistic aims to control, possess, manipulate and inflict emotional pain. I have been her primary target since around 1990. And it is clear that she has been using her control over my father, in order to hurt me and to try to manipulate me in various ways, including to silence my stand against her abuse and make me suffer. I knew this and I tried to make her think it would not bother me, but I have not been able to hide how much it does.

In this situation between my father and I; my heart has been standing up for him while he has been lashing out at me, and this has been VERY difficult for me. But my heart will continue to stand for him, because I know that his lashings are just based on his lack of awareness and him being manipulated and brainwashed by my sisters and their children. I think he will not realize the truths about me until after his life here with us is over, but I at least have the consolation of believing that he will at that time. It still hurts though – the fact that my father thinks I am a lieing, hateful, mean, insane person, because it is not true. It hurts a lot. It always has. Its the kind of pain that a family person, like myself, cannot easily recover from, especially when it is still being inflicted.

I tried and I cried.