Thursday, September 14, 2023

My Closure on my father's Situation

(Updated 4:49pm)

Like I said in the previous post, my sister has just cut me off from being able to text or email my father. And I do not feel safe calling or sending snail mail to him, because his communications go through her, since she took him to Ohio. She and her daughter have a hateful habit of fabricating things against me in relation to my communications with or about my father. And in a phone call or snail mail letter I'd have no way of proving what I did not say or did not send and what she fabricated
.
   Twenty years ago she had carelessly hurt BOTH my father and I with fabrications against him, that they claimed I'd written in emails after they invaded my email account. This was so cruel and devastating that neither one of us have recovered from it. Since the extremely dishonest email they sent my brother and I this year...etc. I have learned that this situation has not changed at all. She has been on a two decade long hate filled rampage of pretending that I am "evil" and "insane" and should be locked away in an institution. And I do not want to give her a chance to imprison me this way.
   My father and I have both already been far too hurt by her fabrications, for more to be allowed, especially now when he is in a fragile state. His emotional health, and my freedom, matter too much to ignore. Its time for me to accept the fact that I will probably never be able to see or connect with my father again. I should have accepted this in January, when they took him to Ohio, because my holding on to him just caused him more pain, due to my sister repeatedly upsetting and hurting him in her usual aims to turn him against me. Since she did a pretty good job with that again, my little periodic "I love you" texts, were all that was left of my relationship - my one sided reach that she continued to breach and probably did not even let him read. He's completely gone from my life now, and it feels far worse than a physical death.

Twisted Years
copyright Sharon R. Poet 9-13-2023

All 20 twisted and torturous years
Have built walls of unshed tears,
And put hate, where Love should be
Here for you and them and me.
Somehow something had to give
This was no way for a family to live.



Blown Fantasy
copyright Sharon R. Poet 9-13-2023

I'd had a fantasy of my own
That has been unfairly blown.
It was of you - my Dad and I
Healing from all that made us cry
Before you drifted into the sky.



Farewell Dad
copyright Sharon R. Poet 9-13-2023

You said you'd call when you returned home
But they wouldn't let you. I waited alone.
We were left with my one sided reach
Into your heart that I could not breach.
I loved you far more than they'd let you know.
And I now hurt much too deeply to let it show.
She said in a text, "He wants done with you."
And I don't know if its her hate or if its true.
But I can't ask you - can't get past their wall.
Even if I could, you'd not believe me at all.
I'm sorry I could not help you. I really tried.
But they imprisoned you and said I'd lied.
Its the same old story of over twenty years.
No change came from my truth and tears.
Now my "I love you" texts are not allowed,
To reach beyond their evil shroud,
Which you embrace and think is good.
Nothing has gone the way it should.
But I forgive you and wish you the best.
I hope that soon, in Love, you'll rest.


In Another Life
Copyright Sharon R. Poet 9-14-2023

 Are you suffering in that place? 
Do tears secretly touch your face? 
Do you feel abandoned by me? 
Do you still fail to feel and see? 
Do you secretly now know it all 
After its too late to make the call? 
I know it was not your choice. 
You just trusted the wrong voice, 
While being far too hurt to see 
The truths that yearned to be free. 
My heart is so heavy now with grief 
Because I can't bring you any relief, 
Because you are not sound and safe 
And are not in a kind, loving place. 
I wish I could set everything right, 
But I too was blocked by their fight. 
Someday a real Light will shine, 
If not in this life of yours and mine. 
Perhaps another lifetime will be born 
In a world less dark and torn. 
There is something to look forward to 
Beyond this hell we now pass through; 
We can surely meet upon our release 
Into the place that's filled with peace.


There is more about this in my previous updated post.

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