My Heart Aches for the Palestinian People and Palestine

When it comes to conflict, its important to be wise enough to look at both sides, before passing judgement. Most of us do this; we ask "who threw the first punch" or "who did the provoking" or "who invaded the other's home"...etc., because we know that this is the one who is responsible.
   In the Palestinian situation, many people have only heard one side of the story - Israel's side, which has proven to not be very honest. This war actually started over 75 years ago, as the Zionists aimed to steal Palestine through violently killing masses of Palestinians, in order to terrorize the rest into leaving their homes and businesses and country. This happened on a VERY large scale around 1948. And this is when the Zionists started calling Palestine, "Israel."

The truth is that Israel is the one who is the violent invader - Israel has been stealing Palestine through both killing and displacing masses of the Palestinian people for over 75 years now. This is documented historical fact.

The Zionist invasion was originally to steal Palestine, and it also now appears to have been to gather the surviving Jewish people there for assimilation before being used in armies that could finish getting rid of the native Palestinians. Israeli supporters have been playing the "Jewish" and "antisemitic" card, in order to hide the truth and make the victims look like the bad guys. But, it does not matter what religion the Zionist's new immigrants were. What matters is what they and the Zionists have been doing to the Palestinians and their beloved Palestine.
  The Palestinian people have suffered indescribably, through many rounds of Israel's various types of violent and destructive invasions. Some Palestinians have violently fought back, like most people would after being invaded over and over and over again. Obviously, the Palestinians would not be fighting back if they were not being attacked and murdered and traumatized and stolen from...etc.
   From the start, violent Israeli settlers and/or military have been attacking and provoking the Palestinians, and then Israeli officials use the Palestinian's violent reactions, in order to justify killing or imprisoning or displacing even more massive amounts of them. This has ben the ongoing pattern.
In recent years Israeli leaders and supporters are doing this under the guise of it only being a "war against terrorism." But, in this most recent escalation of the fighting, both Israeli and USA leaders are obviously aiming to finish getting rid of what little is left of the Palestinians, and finish stealing what little is left of Palestine. This aim is evident in how they just made Gaza so unlivable, and in the recent vamp-ups in violent Israeli settler encroachments and bombings in Palestine's West Bank.

Now, instead of just killing and driving away the native Palestinians and putting new immigrants in their homes and businesses, they are also destroying massive amounts of homes and businesses, in order to make key parts of Palestine unlivable - in order to force the rest of the Palestinians out of their own territory/country. Its all just too horribly wrong.

Israel is the violent terroristic invader in Palestine, for over 75 years now. And the Palestinians are the victims of it. This is documented historical fact...

I feel indescribably sad for the Palestinian people. What has been happening to them is one of the worse holocaustal crimes in the history of humanity. Please Look up the "history of Palestine" and you will probably find it even though Israeli supporters have been foolishly trying to pretend that Palestine does not even exist, even though it has been proven to have there for over seven centuries. Palestine and the Palestinian people do indeed exist. They should BOTH stop being destroyed. Palestine should be restored. And the Palestinian people should be allowed freedom and safety and peace and independence in their own home land of Palestine, just because its what is right and humane and just.

The Other Side of the Palestinian Situation

Find More on the link below
https://careforpalestine.blogspot.com/p/the-true-history-of-palestine-and-israel.html

P.S. Hundreds of thousands of people have been standing up for the Palestinian people, all over the world. But the fact that this appears to have made no difference at all, and that the Israeli and USA leaders are just either ignoring or suppressing it and moving forward with their plan to finish getting rid of the Palestinian people and finish stealing Palestine...is discouraging to say the least. For this sort of destructive evil and deceptive behavior to have such free rein, in todays day and age, is actually very scary. God help us all.

If Only

 If all our Hearts could be the idles at the very top of our list,
We could bring in the Love too many have sorely missed.

Respect vs. Fear

There is a HUGE difference between
instilling fear and gaining respect.

Instilling fear promotes negative things like, discomfort, distrust, resentment, unhappiness and hate. Gaining genuine respect promotes positive things like comfort, trust and appreciation and contentment and care. 

Addressing Prejudice Against American People

In 2003 I was hatefully verbally attacked by a man who did not like our president. He did this just because I was an American citizen. He didn't even know me. He seemed to think that ALL American citizens were responsible for what the American president had done to upset him. This is actually a form of prejudice that can be hurtful and can even get destructive in some situations. And I have recently seen milder versions of it happening in comments on the web; some people are blaming us for Trump's choice to joini Netanyahu's aim to finish getting rid of the Palestinian people and finish stealing Palestine from them...etc.
   

Those who are unhappy with the behaviors of our Presidents, and tend to blame all of us American people for them, should heed their own common sense and look at the facts, because usually far less than half of our adult population actually chooses the president. Below is a good example of the common statistics...

Only about one quarter of the American citizens, and less than one half of those who are registered voters, actually voted for President Trump... The USA Population is about 341,145,670. Only about 156,302,318 adults voted. And Trump got only about 77,284,118 of those votes - less than half. 

   And many of those voters had merely believed in and followed famous people like RFK jr. when he suddenly flipped into supporting Trump. Even Trump's most hard core supporters - the ones who were convinced that America would seize to exist if anyone else became president, are not responsible for what Trump does after gaining the presidency. In fact, many of them probably disagree with some of the things he does or the way he does them.

OVER ALL; NOT NEARLY EVERY AMERICAN CITIZEN HAS VOTED FOR THE PERSON WHO BECOMES PRESIDENT. AND NONE OF US ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE BEHAVIORS OR CHOICES OF THE PRESIDENTS. THE PRESIDENTS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR OWN DOINGS. 

If you disagree with a President's behaviors, blame them and not the people or America as a whole. And if you are a President, please curb your bad behaviors, because we the people sometimes get blamed for what you do. Our safety matters too, and we do not have the security guards that you do.

What Brought America to Where it is now?

 I fully believe that technological (radio wave) and pharmaceutical mind control is the primary tool used, in order to bring America to this difficult state. And I still have reason to believe that many people, both inside and outside the government, are victims of various types of brainwashings. But, even just the mass distribution of brain and feeling numbing pharmaceuticals has had extremely ill effects, because they have been blocking the heart/compassion in masses of people. Freedom from them must be gained ASAP. And people being made aware will enable the healing process.

THE HEART OF AMERICA MUST BE SET FREE BEFORE
IT CAN START HEALING AND GENUINELY GET BETTER.

Resolution for the LGBT Controversy

 I agree that boundaries must be set to protect our children from being exposed to adult sexuality issues. But I feel that it must be done with compassion for the people who are so troubled that they can not accept or honor their own natural gender...etc. We should all think about what reduced them to this? Was it sexual abuse? Was it through being exposed to it at a too impressionable age? Was it through pharmaceutical and radio wave mind control...etc.?
   No matter what the core problem was, it is not fair to these people, when we misjudge or degrade them for having such issues. And it is not fair to the rest of the world (especially to children) for us to act like gender change is a normal thing anyone should be able to choose, or like its a cool thing to do...etc. I feel really sad for people who can not accept or honor their own natural gender. And I hope they focus on healing from whatever brought them to such an unhealthy place within themselves. 

THERE SHOULD BE FAR MORE FOCUS
ON HEALING FROM GENDER ISSUES.

Resolution for America's Street Drug Problem

 I think we all agree that criminals and drug dealers should not be let across our boarders, but those of us who care about financially poor people feel that it should not happen at the expense of the good, harmless people who just need more care or more safety or a better way of life or a fair paying job...etc.

As I see such an extreme focus on stopping street drugs from being brought into America, I wonder why there is not more focus on looking at why so many people want to buy and use the drugs. Is this not the core problem? The dealers want to sell them here because there is such a huge market for them. I think we can best solve this problem through realizing why so many people turn to drugs. It is probably most often to dull extreme levels of emotional pain that have been inflicted through abuse or at least a hurtful lack of loving care in our families and other environments... and then due to not having any (or enough) compassionate support to complete the natural feeling and healing process. 

And then there is the feeling numbing pharmaceuticals that block people's hearts from having even just normal levels of love/care for others. All that harms or blocks the HEART of humanity, must be stopped.

FAR MORE GENUINE HEART/LOVE IS NEEDED, IN ORDER TO STOP PEOPLE (ESPECIALLY CHILDREN) FROM BEING SO HURT. AND FAR MORE COMPASSIONATE SUPPORT OF THE NATURAL FEELING AND HEALING PROCESS MUST TAKE PLACE, IN ORDER FOR PEOPLE TO STOP TURNING TO VARIOUS TYPES OF SUBSTANCE ABUSE. 

And the brainwashing/mind control, which may also be part of the problem in Targeted people or communities, should be stopped so that those people have the freedom to make better choices.

More Torture

 The last round of torture let up, but periods of various types has continued. 

I'm Being Tortured

 I am experiencing torture levels of microwaves today. It started with the usual painful radiating of my hands and neck, like they do when I write something they do not like. But now its severe nuking of my head. Lot of pain and nausea. 

Exchanging Forced Objectivity for Obvious Reality

Yesterday I got VERY upset, after watching just part of Netanyahu's evil grin and Trump's proud support of VERY OBVIOUS ethnic cleansing and theft. Then I left a few sarcastic comments on youtube like, "How can stealing Palestinian lands 'make America great again'?!?!? Its just another shame." and "Why don't they just both hold up signs that say, 'I'm too greedy and heartless to really care about the Palestinians, but I'm going to pretend I care after I murdered tens of thousands of them and as I get rid of the rest so that I can finish stealing their lands.' How do they live with themselves?" But I felt like I was being sucked right into their black hole. So I climbed out and cried instead of continuing. I am now working on blocking them out and staying more in my heart. And all my heart really wants to say to them is... I HOPE YOU FIND YOUR HEARTS, FOR YOUR OWN SAKES AS WELL AS EVERYONE ELSES.

Yesterday was the last straw for me. I had tried hard to force myself to be objective instead of feeling devastated in the past few weeks. I am grieving for America,  for what is left of the suffering Palestinian people and their beloved lands that are still being stolen,  for those of us who never chose this chaotic heartless hell and those who did, and for all the people who will suffer under the rule of heartless greed and dysfunctional chaos and prejudice hate against harmless immigrants and the financially poor...etc.

   But, beneath my sobs, both last night and this morning, my heart knows there is still hope for us and America and all of Humanity. There just has to be...

My Heart Sobs

copyright Sharon R. Poet 2-5-2025

My heart cries for the good

Who are being displaced.

My heart sobs for the whole

Suffering human race.

My heart feels the tears

That stain Liberty's face,

With every heartless act

That sets her in disgrace.

But the Light will reach

Even their darkest place,

And freedom will again

Belong to the human race.

Last night I had a dream forewarning of a young popular woman, who had publicly supported our current new president, committing suicide. It appeared that she couldn’t handle the shame she felt. I feel sad for the people who thought Trump would actually help save what is left of Palestine, instead of stealing it. Yesterday was a devastating day for the Palestinians and their supporters, no doubt.

The Deceived Who Chose This

copyright Sharon R. Poet 2-5-2025

I feel sad for those who chose

These darkest of troubled times,

And sad for those who never

Stood to cast a better line.

But the Light still exists

And will, for all, shine

From some other place,

In our future's time.

The enslaved who "chose" this

Will grow to care and see,

When all of our world

Has been truly set free.

I hope they forgive themselves

And see what lead them astray.

I hope they just humbly bow

Into a brighter day.

In these most troubling times, we can choose a better way, for ourselves and the people around us... We can choose to not subject ourselves to or join the heartless inconsiderateness, the degrading belligerence, the hate and prejudice, the careless greed, the blind arrogance and ignorance...etc., that tries to lead us all astray. Most of us can choose a better way; Even just treating our fellow human beings with more kindness and consideration is a behavior that can help make our world a better place. God's hands work through our HEARTS and we must do our parts...

Every little bit of Love we share

Dissipates the darkness out there.

Like I had been saying in the writings they recently erased; "ITS TIME TO FIGHT LIKE HEAVEN"...with LOVE instead of hate and vengeance...

Most of Us Can Compensate

copyright Sharon R. Poet 2-5-2025

I think one of the most scary and sad things is

When evil joyfully smiles after it's forced wins.

But there is hope because most people have the Heart

To not blindly follow the dark and careless leads.

Most of us can care about people who are in need.

Most of us have the Heart to sow better seeds.

Most of us have the wisdom to keep away the weeds

And help flowers grow instead of letting them bleed.

Though it now seems lost, our future sure will see

The restoration of our precious stature of Liberty.

It is up us; the HEART/LOVE in you and them and me.

We can set America and the rest of humanity free.

I do not think it is a coincidence, that around this time, my websites have been taken off the web and there was an attempt to steal my new vehicle (and what is left of my printed writings) and force me into a place that is completely controlled by the evil that targets me and America and Palestine...etc. 

In the End of it All

copyright Sharon R. Poet 2-5-2025

The evil can not win

In the end of it all;

Our HEARTS will rise up

And finally make it fall.

I AM BEGGING HUMANITY TO PLEASE NOT LET YOURSELVES BE MANIPULAED INTO EVEN MORE DISCORD OR MORE HORRID WARS AT THIS CRITICAL TIME WHEN IT IS MORE PEACE THAT IS SO NEEDED BY JUST ABOUT EVERYONE EVERYWHERE.

PLEASE CHOOSE PEACE INSTEAD.

For PEACE and FREEDOM...

https://youtu.be/bw_U821YTCc?si=s578Ca9m50cozj

I've been praying, harder than ever, for real freedom and peace to be restored here in America as well as around the globe...

THE TIME FOR REAL FREEDOM AND PEACE AND HEALING IS LONG OVERDUE AND THINGS JUST CAN'T KEEP HEADING IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION! PLEASE HELP PEACE AND REAL FREEDOM AND LOVE/HEART WIN, BECAUSE IT HAS TO. IT JUST HAS TO.

Thefts and Malfunctions happening in the Godaddy Company

As I tried to pay, in advance, for another year of website hosting and domain payments, I ran into many problems in the Godaddy website. I am not sure if it is Godaddy doing this to me, or if the people who target me, have been infiltrating their website, in order to make changes to pages in my account, but its one or the other or both. The list below explains what is happening...

When I click on the "renewals" page; it lists only five of my websites and the dates they are due to renew this year. (last year these dates changed, forcing to pay twice.) Other domains are not being shown on this page, and there is no way to view them. When I did a print out of this page my www.poeticpublications.com website was not on the print out, although it was still on the web page. Did they remove it from the wrong page in the website, this time? It appears so; Godaddy is already offering it for sale, even though I paid for it up to June of 2025.

This is how they stole my www.heartbud.com website; they took it off the listing so that I did not include it in the renewals of every site listed. I actually caught this and paid for it, but then they applied that payment to something else and stole it anyway. (It is now being offered for at least $2,000!!!) The same tactic was done with the hosting bill; it was suddenly not listed on the "renewals" page, like it always had been - making it easy for me to forget it. But I caught it last year and paid for it, FOR A FULL YEAR AS ALWAYS, but it appears that they altered that payment and made it for only three months, and I did not catch the change in time. :(  (because the website has often malfunctioned when I tried to print out receipts of payments, I started taking pictures of the pages last year.)
   And I never got the expiration notices of my hosting account, because the email associated with my Godaddy account recently stopped forwarding my emails to my other email account, which I check more often. So they have been interfering with both my email account and the pages in my Godaddy account, in order to steal my domains and take down my websites. And as if this is not enough....

When I now try to pay for another year of my remaining domains, that are currently listed on my renewal page; the proper billing info has been removed from the checkout page, which prevents me from paying for my domains. They still have my current billing info; it can be viewed through another page, but that page malfunctions; it vanishes when the mouse is not clicked on it, preventing me from even accessing it. I have repeatedly tried this process from different computers and it is the same every time. They are preventing me from paying for my remaining domains, which are all due to expire this year.

This is all very devastating, because my heartbud.com website, as well as my poeticpublications.com website are the ones I had used in many publications and emails, in order to advertise my work. Its all just too wrong!!! Its actually criminal, but I do not know if there are any laws that will allow me to press charges. A lawsuit is probably the only way to deal with this sort of thing. But there should be laws against it, because it is blatant covert theft and I now have enough physical proof of it through dated videos and pictures.

Letter to President Trump...

 Dear President Trump,

As I see your rush to "make America safer..." my heart wants to send you the following VIP questions about some of the most grotesque crimes that have been being committed against American citizens...

What are you doing to stop space and ground based microwave and laser weapons systems from being used (in conjunction with satellite surveillance systems) to harm or torture American citizens, like myself?

   What are you doing to break down the "matter of national security" wall, which hides these crimes from the public...leaving us victims to be disbelieved and/or viewed as "mentally ill," as the targeting continues to destroy our lives? (Those of us who are genuine long term victims are not "dangerous" or "insane" - we are the opposite - we are very kind people who have deep hearts - we are good people who are being targeted by what appears to be an evil occult.) 

   How can America ever really be "great again" without exposing and stopping criminal use of both ground and space based microwave and laser weapon systems - without real freedom and safety for ALL American citizens - without the heart of our government standing up for, and being here for, those of us who are being so terribly hurt? 

I beg you to put your strength up against these horrid crimes that are happening to American citizens, like myself. We matter too. But do we matter to you?

Is there any hope for us? Will safety and freedom ever truly be here for us too? 

Heart Felt Thoughts

Many things come to mind in the past week, but the following statements come from my heart...

ONLY THE KINDEST CAN BE THE BEST, BECAUSE IT NEVER PUTS ITSELF ABOVE THE REST.

True GREATNESS only comes through PEACE that is upheld with COMPASSIONATE CONSIDERATION for the feelings and needs of fellow human beings, including fellow races, fellow political parties, fellow countries...etc.

When I hear the word "freedom" my heart wants to cry out, "Real FREEDOM must include total FREEDOM from all types of radio wave and pharmaceutical targeting...etc." The enslavement of humanity must be exposed and stopped, so that the HEART of humanity can be restored.


And the following poem also comes to mind. I remembered it from a book my father gave me when I was in my teens. At that time, we both felt the importance of its message...

The Measure of a Man

by Anonymous

Not--"How did he die?" But--"How did he live?"

Not--"What did he gain?" But--"What did he give?"

These are the units to measure the worth

Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.

Not--"What was his station?" But--"Had he a heart?"

And--"How did he play his God-given part?

Was he ever ready with a word of good cheer,

To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?"

Not--"What was his church?" Nor--"What was his creed?"

But--"Had he befriended those really in need?"

Not--"What did the sketch in the newspaper say?"

But--"How many were sorry when he passed away?"

Under the Guise of "Help"

 Evil often operates under the guise of “help," but it’s the type of “help” that serves their goals, not the type that the victim needs for safety and independence.

Another Round of Hell in my Family (2)

I have taken down the previous post, because I wrote it while I was really upset and still processing things. Here is a better version of it…

I recently had a dream that warned me of a person, who is involved in the targeting and the dark side of spirituality, setting me up to be blamed for something… and a dream that portrayed a dark sister, who pretends to be good but has bad intentions, aiming to give me something… and a dream warning me of a woman, who had been pushing to be my friend and was in a relationship with my older brother, being jealous of me… and a dream about a man I’m close to being abusive.
  Shortly after these dreams things happened, which make it look like most of them were about my older brother’s wife, and about my brother blindsiding me with an abusive attack, after I’d sent them a VERY kind “Hope for the Future” email, which set a considerate boundary with his wife.
  I thank God that this conversation was in writing, because if it had not been, its akin to those that have made me seriously question my sanity. It clearly shows the usual verbal and mental abuse and meanness and false accusations and outrageous assumptions and the projection of all those things onto me. Not to mention them pretending his wife is the one who is the victim, and fabricated things and denials that are added in just to make me out to be the bad one, the wrong one, the insane one. They pretend that his wife has been nothing but helpful and caring to me and that there is no real reason for me to have set a boundary with her. It’s a good example of the confusing crazy-making type of stuff that the worse perpetrators, (or their drugged mind control victims) do to heavily targeted people like me.

My family has always been a bit more dysfunctional than the average, but it had never been nearly this bad, until the targeting vamped up into severe levels. This is surely mostly the result of the mind control part of the targeting, on my brother’s part. As for his wife; I am now doubting that this excuse can be justly given to his her, because she has displayed some behaviors that mimic the truly evil perpetrators and their puppets.

It appears that, in heavily targeted families, some members are recruited into the evil occult and used in the targeting, (like appears to have happened with my sisters, especially the second oldest one.) and some family members are married off to occult operatives who pretend to be good (like what appears to have happened to my youngest brother and now possibly my oldest brother.) And some members become unaware mind control victims. And then all are used against the primary targets, like me.
It appears that the family members, who are married to (or are being severely manipulated by) an occult member or one of their dark puppets, are drugged and brainwashed into thinking that they are so pure hearted and so good that they can do no wrong. These types of mind control victims will even viciously fight to defend their controller if anyone says anything different, even in the face of blatantly obvious wrong doings, like my father did for my second oldest sister.
   My oldest brother also seems to think that his wife is nothing but “pure hearted” even though she VERY obviously behaves in ways that are VERY intrusive and controlling and degrading and inconsiderate of his and other people’s feelings. Even just putting up a kind boundary, asking her to please stop pushing and just let my brother and I sort things out on our own, appears to have triggered her into a drama and fabrications that manipulated my brother into launched this most recent attack on me. She wants complete control; she does not want my brother and I re-uniting and talking without her being fully involved in it, and she wants to be the one who is closest to me….etc. This has been made VERY clear.

I have been really worried about this brother through the past few days.

I am worried about me too, not only because I just got blindsided by yet another round of abuse from a loved one, and am feeling too overwhelmed again, but also because I just had a dream that clearly warned me of a plan for my car to be stolen in a situation where a set up for it had already really happened. It now appears that those who target me wanted to force me to go to my older brother and his wife’s home, which would be VERY bad for me. It now appears that my boundary setting foiled the dark plan and this may be why she/they got so vicious.
   I must keep my distance from my whole family until the targeting is over and they have truly found their hearts…etc. This is the family that STILL calls me “crazy” and has wanted to have me shoved into an “insane asylum,” even though there is proof, in things like this last round of emails, that I am far more kind and functional and reasonable than they are.
   I want a kind and safe place to live on MY OWN property, so that I can retain my freedom and independence and have control over who is allowed to visit there and who is not. I want complete freedom from ALL levels of abuse and I want the privacy and peace to heal from the hell I’ve been through in the past twenty years. I want things to get better, not worse.

First Song of the Year

I Still Feel the Light!

Copyright Sharon R. Poet 1-2-2025

It’s a painful place to be in -
A lonely homeless plight,
Especially where my family
Had joined the evil fight
To break my heart and Spirit.
But I still feel the Light - I still see the Light.

I went back to that place. 

Where they were hitting me 

And cutting up my face, 

Where they manipulate 

 With greed and hate 

To tear us all apart… especially the heart. 

They twisted everything around 

To blame me for what they’d done… 

Made me the “crazy” one. 

There are a lot of dark places 

In this “crazy’ world of mine. 

And there are many lost people 

Who forgot how to be kind. 

I steer my way around them 

To park under the Light.

 I still feel the Light - I still see the Light. 

Keep me safe from harm. 

Hold my hand tonight. 

I still feel the Light. I still feel the Light

 

Oh…. help preserve the Love 

That keeps me alive. 

I still feel the Light. I still feel the Light

Wrap me in Your arms. 

I still feel the Light. I still see the Light. 

In these Tears I cry… 

I STILL FEEL THE LIGHT!

.

A Difficult Holliday Season

The holidays were more difficult for me this year, than any other since my mother being taken from us at Christmas time in 1977.
   Aside from what was done to my father, around the time of his death, in the past couple years, there has also been what he and my sisters did to me around that time. I knew that the long standing hate filled jealousy in my sisters would deprive of any inheritance. I knew this since they manipulated and lied their way into gaining complete control of our father’s will and estate. I never expected to get any inheritance. The painful part was the way it was done – with obvious hate and vengeance and dishonesty entwined with heavy doses of mental abuse and emotional abuse…and some of it seeming to come from my father. I had not expected the vengeful and abusive and dishonest a to my father’s will, which is all that my sisters ever sent me after his death. And it hurt a lot, because it was like my father, whom I had forgiven and made peace with years ago, cruelly and vengefully striking out at me from his grave, while I was in state of grief and feeling nothing but love and concern for him. It hurt like hell.
   I knew that BOTH of my sister’s had manipulated him into it, and had most likely even created the last version of the directive without him even being aware of it. But, it still struck me hard. In the months after this I struggled to move past it and bring my good memories of my father back into the foreground. I struggled to wipe out the picture of him cruelly swinging an axe at me, and replace it with him being too kind to be so hateful, like he used to be…or like I thought he was. I don’t really know him anymore and perhaps I never did.

I was recently told that my father’s home was quickly sold and the inheritance divided between most family members (in the usual unfair ways that my sister’s have always operated in), many months ago. It appears that my sisters took most of his money for themselves, both before and after his death. And the rest was divided between other family members.
   And here I am – another family member whom they know is literally homeless and financially struggling for many years now… and not one member of my family offered to share any of the inheritance with me. Like I said, I knew that my sisters would hatefully deprive me, because their jealous hate of me has been there all my life. But I had just recently wondered if any other family member would offer to share part of the inheritance with me. I wondered this, because, if I were in their shoes, its what I would have done – I would have given the deprived one at lease the portion of what I got, that should have gone to them. I think its what most people would have done in this situation. (Some people would have even contested such an unfair and abusive directive to a will, even if it meant losing their own inheritance.) But not in my family. They all got their money months ago and every recipient just took it all for themselves, even though they knew I was being unfairly deprived and was still suffering in a homeless situation. This is not a surprise to me, but it sure makes their lack of care for me blatantly obvious to everyone.
   My little inner kid used to cry over feeling too unloved in my own family. Now, I am just accepting the fact that most of my family is too abusive and heartless to be what I have always needed and wanted them to be for me as well as for each other, and that they have gotten worse rather than better. It’s a VERY sad situation. This is hard for me, because I still love them and sometimes feel as sad for them as I do for myself. But I am accepting the way it is, because there is nothing I can do about it, accept do what I must, in order to protect myself from their abusive behaviors. Having to staying away from my family, in order to protect myself, has always been difficult for me, because family is very important to me and my love for them has never wavered. But I can’t make them love me when they don’t and when they even seem to not be capable of doing so. And I can’t let them continue hurting me. I matter too.

The hate and heartlessness I am still ashamed to say

Has grown in my family enough to keep me away.

P.S. Parts of my family have actually played active roles in intentionally and hatefully keeping me suffering in a homeless situation, through the past several years. My older sisters have lead this hate filled drive against me. But many followed it, without regard for me, including my father, np matter how much I begged for their help. They make it VERY clear that they want to keep me homeless and suffering. And there is a part of me that has actually enjoyed shoving in their face… the fact that I found kindness and consideration at the Concord Social Security offices and am now receiving my retirement social security refunds… that they could not keep me completely deprived and suffering… that I will get back onto my own feet and get a decent home of my own to live in. Imagine my little inner kid, stomping her foot and shoving her chin up in the air to defiantly say, “I’m going to stop suffering in destitution even though you don’t want me to. So there!” This is exactly what I am doing. This is my form of revenge.

I Pray...

I pray for real genuine positive change, in America and around the globe, which restores lost freedoms and sets things right, with compassion and consideration for ALL people.

Update on my Personal Situation

After getting my retirement social security I started saving for a better place to live, because I was still living in a small sedan car in parking lots. But as I searched for an inexpensive piece of land or a good prospect for a tiny home on wheels, the microwave targeting vamped up, and my little sedan started literally falling apart and I had to replace it. This set me back a bit. I have given up on a truck or bus (for a tiny home) and I am just saving up for the land I need to be my next step in getting back on my own feet in the home department.
   I have always wanted to do a 'back to the basics' way of living off the land... and this is a good thing since I will probably not ever be able to afford anything else and will be very lucky if I can accomplish even just this at my age of 65, but I believe I can; I dream of building my own cord wood cabin on a peaceful and private chunk of land that I purchase. I will probably still end up turning it into a small healing center, but my first priority will be doing my own healing work on myself, both physically and emotionally. I'll not be very good for anyone else until I heal from the targeting, especially the parts which happened inside my own family in the past couple decades.

I am still struggling with the recent death of my father, due to the abusive turmoil that my sisters created in our family around his death, and other things they had previously done to him and I...
   In 2002, my sister's severely emotionally abused our father, in emails they wrote from my email account, in order to destroy his trust in me and manipulate him into choosing them as executors of his will, instead of him moving forward with my older brother and I as executors.
   In the end, they greedily got what they wanted, in criminal and abusive and manipulative ways, and had even intentionally deprived our father of his other loved ones; keeping him isolated against his will, after manipulating him out of his own home, through all of the final year of his life...etc.
   I now also believe that my sisters are at least partly responsible for our father's unusually rapid decline in his health in the last year of his life, not only due to their usual mental and emotional abuse, but possibly also through effecting him with harmful substances or parasites...etc. I believe that my sisters are capable of almost anything, because of how cruel and heartless their greedy behaviors had been as they sabotaged our father's relationships with his other loved ones, in order to put themselves in complete control of him and his estate, in his old age...etc. My sister's behaviors have been hateful and criminal and abusive and extremely manipulative. They even used our father's death as an opportunity to hurt me while I was in a state of grief. Its all been a very difficult and painful situation that I now need to heal from.

A Bit of Validation for Torture Victims

updated on 8-24-2024

Microwave targeting is now also being called "Havana Syndrome" and "Anomalous Health Incidents" (AHI).

In the video I shared in the previous post, more was said about the microwave targeting, and the plight of the victims, than I've seen in any other report. The focus was only on government officials who were attacked with microwave weapons. But, now that the existence of microwave weapons, and some of their capabilities, have finally been publicly exposed and some officials are standing up for some of the victims; the door has opened for more aware officials to also stand up and share what they know about the various types of weapons, and various types of victims that do indeed exist, both inside and outside the government. This video is a small step, but it is an important one, because it is officials standing up against the reports, which still try to claim that microwave weapons do not exist and/or that the targeting isn't even really happening; its three official investigators stating that the weapons do indeed exist and that people are indeed being hurt by them...

The chairman said, in his opening statement, that the National Academies of Science Engineering and Medicine found the AHI symptoms "to be consistent with the effects of directed pulsed radio frequency energy. Many of the chronic non-specific symptoms are also consistent with known radio frequency effects, such as dizziness, head aches, fatigue, nausea, anxiety, cognitive deficits and memory loss."

The rest of the hearing was three witnesses, who have investigated microwave weapon attacks, making opening statements and answering questions...

Mr. Edgreen; stated that the microwaving is not new. He mentioned reports of it starting as early as in the 1950s when the USA embassy started being attacked in Moscow, and that there have been many other reported incidents since then. He spoke of the unfair "gaslighting" of the victims. He said that, "The signs and symptoms of AHI are generally compelling and that pulse electromagnetic energy, particularly in the radio frequency range, explains the core characteristics." he said that some of the microwave weapon attacks are "designed to make the target feel like they are crazy, like they are imagining things, especially in the low intensity long duration hits."

Mr. Grozev; stated that he did extensive studies of the victims and found that there were many symptoms that surely were NOT "psychosomatic" or from "preexisting" symptoms, like has been said in other reports. He stated that he found proof of microwave weapons being developed at least since the 1970s and referred to them as, "Wave Weapons" which are both acoustic and directed energy weapons. He stated that there is "sufficient evidence" that microwave weapons do exist and can have ill effects on the human body and brain.

Mr. Zaid; stated that microwave weapon attacks have "mostly silently plagued" many victims "for decades." He said that, "The victims are not just selfless public servant, [but are also] their spouses, children (including infants) and even pets." He shared intelligence info that mentioned, "a high powered microwave system weapon that may have the ability to weaken, intimidate or kill an enemy over time and without leaving evidence." He also said that "this weapon is designed to bathe the targets home in microwaves, causing numerous physical effects, including a damaged nervous system." He stated that "Todays hearing can only present a sliver of relevant information. The overwhelming majority of evidence, concerning AHIs is hidden behind classified walls." He said that, "There is intelligence, scientific, and medical evidence that substantiates the existence of AHIs and that SOME of the attacks were perpetrated by a former adversary. That evidence can be specifically identified in the proper classified setting. That said, there is a wealth of publicly available information concerning the history of directed energy weapons, particularly its scientific and military applications."

Mr. Thompson asked the three witnesses, "Are any of you aware of any reported incidents from Individuals who are not members of the United states government?" Mr. Edgreen said, "I am not but...I only focused on former and present government employees." Mr. Zaid said, "There are many people who believe they are victims... I only represent government employees, so I don't focus on the accuracy of those particular claims." Mr. Grozev said, "Not on American soil, but in other parts of the world there've been complaints that appear to be credible." 

All three witnesses think that Russia is at least partly to blame, and Mr. Edgreen repeatedly stated that the USA should strike back and seek vengeance on Russia. But Mr. Grozev (or Mr. Zaid?) wisely said, "From my personal point of view, making this public is the best protection." One of them stated that a Russian official said that Russians were being attacked by the USA and were aiming to strike back, around the 1980s. However, there are, no doubt, many groups and many countries that have developed microwave weapons since Nicola Tesla's experiments in the late 1800s and early 1900s. And surely many have already been vengefully hurting each other with them, at least since the 1950s. And Public awareness and stopping criminal use of the technologies, EVERYWHERE, is truly the remedy. We must have a peaceful end to the hell that too many of us have already experienced, rather than even more suffering being inflicted. We just must.

Much of the needed information has been classified as top secret, which has hindered investigations as well as the hearing in this video. I'm sure there were reasons for the classification, but masses of victims need the validation and understanding and acknowledgment...etc. Hopefully there will soon be a LOT more transparency and the plight of ALL types of victims, both inside and outside the government, will be realized and acknowledged, and criminal use of all types of microwave weapons, both ground and space based, will be completely stopped.

Homeland Security Hearing - (full video)

https://youtu.be/bwlCmtLCM2U?si=1VxXQuUsaCXM-5KJ

(I am not sure if this address will remain accurate due to possible infiltrations.)

 P.S. I feel that brain numbing pharmaceuticals and radio wave mind control have also helped to hinder independent investigations and has caused a lot of blind disbelief and denial of the truths. :-(  But it looks like the time has come for us to push past the obstacles. :-)

On the Microwave Targeting

Updated 8-23-2024

On this blog, I've not shared much about my daily experiences with the microwave and covert targeting, because one of my survival methods has become to ignore it as much as possible. But it has been an ongoing problem, with periodic severe vamp ups.
   I still wonder what started it. When I first started realizing what was happening, I had wondered if it was somehow connected to my Uncle working for the FBI and/or similar agencies doing interrogation work. But then I thought that the targeting probably followed my mother down from Canada and the Catholic "Indian Residential Schools." And I have also thought that my sisters put me on some sort of hit list. It may be one or all of these things. It has sometimes seemed like I've been being targeted by more than just one group and for more than just one reason.
   But I recently watched a video that was put out by Homeland Security, which stated that officials and their families have been being targeted with microwave weapons, in some of the same ways that I have been being targeted. So, I am now back to wondering if my visiting my Aunt and Uncle's home in Florida opened a door for the targeting to follow me to New Hampshire. Were they and their loved ones being heavily targeted when I visited them? I do not know, because they are no longer alive.
   I hope time reveals the full truth about why we have been being targeted, but, no matter what the reasons are or who is doing the targeting, the results are still the same; us torture victims have been suffering indescribably and all forms of the microwave targeting must be completely stopped ASAP. Freedom and safety and healing should be the primary focus. 
   My heart cries for all of us torture victims, and feels for all of the officials who have been dealing with this horrid confusing situation. I deeply appreciate the officials who are now publicly addressing the microwave targeting, because this brings deeply needed validation to those of us who are under attack, and brings needed understanding to unaware people. This means more than words can say.
   Hopefully soon, the rest of the world will become fully aware of all of the various types of microwave targeting that has been hurting many people, both inside and outside the government. Hopefully very soon, criminal use of ALL the technologies that can emit and direct radio waves, will be completely stopped. Hopefully soon, nobody will be being hurt or controlled or deceived by any aspects of the evil radio wave targeting anymore. Hopefully soon there will be safety and freedom for all types of victims and all of the rest of humanity.

Below is the video I watched. (I am not sure if it will remain the same because I am still dealing with computer infiltrations and it had appeared that the address was being changed the first time I tried sharing it a couple months ago.)
   One part of this video, which disturbed me, was when the military man called for the seeking of vengeance against those whom he assumes are responsible. I can understand his upset, but I hope officials, both here and around the globe, will focus on stopping criminal use of radio wave technologies and protecting humanity from further harm, rather than inflicting more harm...

I hope this hell ends with peace rather than with more wars and more suffering, because there has already been far too much suffering for far too long. We must have freedom and peace and healing. We just must.

"House Homeland Security Committee Holds A Hearing On Foreign Anomalous Health Incidents"

https://youtu.be/bwlCmtLCM2U?si=1VxXQuUsaCXM-5KJ

A Deeply Meaningful Song

This is a positive affirmation song, which Jewel wrote for herself. But it has special meaning for me, right now, because  (among other things) in the past couple years I was hit with severe levels of emotional and mental abuse, in my family. I was lucky to have had a psychologist prove to me that I was not "insane"/broken, before this last round of abuse began. But I still benefit from the positive affirmations I've written into many of my own songs and poems, as well as from things like my perception of Jewel's "Hands" song. I've been telling myself, "I am OK. I just need freedom from ALL of the abuse and to heal from it. I am OK."

I wonder how many kind and sensitive and compassionate types of people lose trust in their own sanity and/or feel bad about themselves, due to being in emotionally and mentally abusive situations. I'm sure there are many and I know how horrible it feels, because I've been there myself. This song is for them/us. But it is also for the people who have let hate and jealousy and unhealed pain/anger lash out to hurt us, because they need to know that their darkness is not winning, and that they can choose to find/heal their own hearts and be kind, instead of hurtful.

Jewel - Hands
  https://youtu.be/CZHfKnK7TgQ?si=7R_0yIJxat5lHKxH

God's hands work through our Hearts.
We must do our part.

P.S. This is an alternate version of Jewel's Hands song; https://youtu.be/mAvExmRtQ_4?si=GZmm2Jrrj2UUc25B

Closure on my Father's Death

 Updated 8-13-2024

In January 2024, my father died in my sister's home in Ohio, after about a year of being held there against his will. He had wanted to return to his own New Hampshire home, and he had needed to be able to freely and privately communicate with ALL of his children through his final months, but my sisters prevented this through keeping him in Ohio against his will, and through raising discord in the family, which included severe levels of emotional abuse and manipulations aimed at sabotaging what remained of his relationships with some of his other loved ones. The levels of heartlessness and dishonesty and greed, that now exists in my family, was shocking. And my father dying in the darkest trenches of it, with his most important needs and wishes being disregarded...etc., was VERY disturbing, to say the least.
   I tried hard to have my father returned home, and provided with the proper levels of care, but I stood too alone with the task, and my sisters and their puppets were hitting me with hate filled rounds of mental and emotional and verbal abuse, through the process. It was hell for me, but my father appears to have experienced worse. :-(
   I felt relief after hearing of my father's death, because it meant that he is now finally free and in a far better place. My grief has been for the hell he went through in his life, especially in his final year. I still feel sickened by it. I hope my two older sisters and their puppets find their hearts, although it is now too late for too much. 

I could not have a positive closure in my family, because my sisters had taken complete control and they deprived us of a wake; there was no wake for our father. And I did not go to the delayed family funeral in June, because I knew it would not be a peaceful or comforting or emotionally safe environment for me. But I plan to have my own private memorial/closure, as soon as I am able to.

P.S. Prior to this I had remained mostly separate from my family, due to some of them being involved in cruelly targeting me. And returning to try to help my elderly father proved to be futile and very hurtful to me. :-(   The heartlessness and cruelty have gotten worse in the past couple decades - the opposite of what I had hoped to find.

My Difficult Family Situation

I've been through hell trying to deal with my family situation in the past twenty years, especially around 2003 and through the past three years. I have recently been more fully facing and standing up against the most severe abuses in my family, for the first time in my life. Its been a VERY painful situation for me, which includes severe levels of mental and emotional abuse.

   
I feel that what happened to me, in my family, is a story that must be shared, for the sake of the safety and well being of all victims of this sort of thing, including myself. There is more about it on this link...

A Case of Severe Mental and Emotional Abuse

https://exposingemotionalabuse.blogspot.com/p/a-case-of-severe-mental-abuse.html